Day 244

Wednesday 31st August 2016

This morning we got up at the crack of dawn to do the impossible. 

I have found this year I have accomplished so much more than I could ever have imagined. For me getting healthy and losing weight has helped me do things that I never thought were ever achievable. 

When I started losing weight this year I set some goals, small goals that are easy to achieve and then some larger goals. Some of my larger goals were to lose 70lb by October and to climb Snowdon. 

When I set those goals they were so far away. I have only a few lbs to go until I hit 70lbs. But when I set the goal to climb Snowdon, well that was mission impossible. There would need to be a miracle for me to achieve it.

Today I have proved that miracles do happen and there is no such thing as impossible. 

We attempted to climb Snowdon – Matt, myself and the kids. We didn’t even do the easy route, we did a route called the Pyg Trail. It was the most picturesque but there was some climbing involved. The route was challenging but I did it – I actually got to the top.

I couldn’t help but cry. I don’t know though if I cried because I was so overwhelmed for doing it or because I was in so much pain. 

While at top we opted to walk the easier route down. I was dreading the walk down as I find it harder for some reason. I thought that with the route we came up I wasn’t going to get down it, that’s why I went the easy way. 

It however was far from easy. It took me a while but I got down. I don’t think I can walk another step now though for a long time. However I am very happy because I did 30,000 steps by the time I finished.

I had to break a few rules when it came to my eating. I had to eat small amounts regularly rather than 3 meals with nothing for the 5 hours in between . If I hadn’t have done that I would never have had enough energy to finish. 

Now I believe that all things are possible 

No weigh in

Day 243

Tuesday 30th August  2016

I find shopping for food I can eat is becoming a lot easier. Most of the food I buy is fresh so that is easy.  I know what meat and vegetables to pick now organic is better. 

I have now changed the way I make certain things. I am getting I nice collection of healthy recipes now. 

But when it comes to reading packets it has taken me a little longer to grasp. I have to keep asking Jenny what to look for. 

This is what she says-

When looking at food labels for carbohydrate levels you want to look at the 100g as that gives you an equal comparison to other foods

On this example ideally the carbohydrate level needs to be under 60g per 100g for a reasonable level of energy from carbohydrate based food, which I would call a starchy carb

Look at the sugar levels underneath, aiming for no more than 20%, so this example is 3.8g of 45g, so that’s good at about 10%.

Then with the fibre -this level helps to reduce the impacts of the sugar, so the higher the better!  This level is quite low at 2.8g compared to 45g of carbohydrates.  As a comparison spinach has 3.6g of carbohydrate per 100g, of which 2.6g of that is fibre – superfood!! 

Finally the protein levels – so if over 3g this has a reasonable level of protein so would use this protein element as the main element of the meal. As an example eggs are 10grams of protein per 100g and fish is 22g. Ideally you need 1g of protein per kg of your muscle mass, 

So Debbie has approx 50kg of muscle mass, the 3 meals per day will equal a total of 50grams of protein per day, which is approx 16-18grams of protein per meal. 

In summary you’re ideally looking for mid carb, less than 60g per 100g, with low sugars and high fibre, >5g is good. 

Or high fat, over 20g per 100g, low carb = low sugars & fibre. 

Or then high protein, over 10g per 100g, low carb sugar, fibre. 

The trick is to pick one main macronutrients, carb, fat or protein as the main element of each meal and accompany with greens salad/leafs (leafy carb) = low carb and high fibre foods.. 

This concept has helped me a lot, it has been one of the guides I follow when buying food. However, I do find myself still asking Jenny if it’s ok. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8.2lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.   66.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.3kg.    0.1kg⬆️.        31.3kg⬇️total

Day 242

Monday 29th August 2016

We have had a lovely few days in Devon. We have spent our time walking mainly. But we have also played a lot of cards. 

We seem to like playing cards as a family. I have to really watch the kids though because they can cheat. 

I remember once that all the cheating was annoying me and I said “if you are going to cheat you can leave the table right now!!” So my youngest got up out of his chair and said “ok” and then left. 

I am usually pretty good at cards. This weekend though I haven’t won one game (they must be cheating again!).

It got me thinking about having to play the hand that is dealt me.

That is true in life too. I have only been given one life that is what I was dealt.  

I shouldn’t go looking at other people and think, I wish I looked like her, I wish I was that thin, she seems to have her life all sorted and I want that. 

I have never looked at other people and been jealous of them but I have looked and wanted to be like them. I heard a saying once “just be yourself because everyone else is taken” – that is so true. 

I do think though that most people in general have something they don’t like about themselves.  I know I do. 

I just need to appreciate myself more and not wish I was like someone else. Because, let’s face facts, I am too tall to be ten stone – I think I would look really ill if I was!

So I think we all need to learn to live with the hand that we are dealt and learn to be more content with who we are. 

No weigh in

Day 241

Sunday 28th August 2016

We have two dogs, they are Hungarian Viszlas. The oldest dog Viz is a female and a few years ago we decided to breed her. She had four male puppies. We kept the first born and named him Wesley and we sold the rest.

We have a very big garden and fields behind where we live so we don’t have to take them out for a walk – we can just let them out because there is plenty of room for them to run around. 

This year though we have been trying to train them because it would be nice to take them for walks with us from time to time. 

Wesley has never been on holiday, or even left the house and gardens unless he is going to the vets or kennels. We have however brought them with us to Devon. 

We have been on walks everyday. We thought it was a perfect opportunity to train them on the lead. 

Wesley who is 18 months old has learnt really quickly. But Viz, who is older, is being a bit more stubborn to train. She still wants to pull on that lead. 

It shows that saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is totally true. 

I, like Viz, feel I am an ‘old dog’ this year. For many years I have tried to change my eating habits and it has taken extreme willpower and motivation to finally see it working.

It has come now to the stage that I am trying to teach my kids about eating healthier. I am finding that with my youngest son it is relatively easy but his older brothers are a totally different story. There appears to be nothing I can do that will change their eating habits. And it’s not for the lack of trying. 

It’s like with the old dog – he will not change his tricks unless he wants to. The same applies to my kids. When they are  so set in their ways they are never going to change unless they want to do it for themselves. That is why my youngest is willing to try and not my older boys. 

It is my fault though that they have got into these bad habits because they have only been copying me for years. It makes me wish I did this sooner.

No weigh in

Day 240

Saturday 27th August 2016

My mum has a holiday home in Branscombe on the south coast of Devon. I have been going there every year since I was a child and now I find that I take my kids every year too. 

I have visited the surrounding area many times. However there is a cave that you can go to but I have never been. Today we thought we would go. 

I really wasn’t prepared mentally on the walk I was about to take. We ended up walking down a track where you had to climb over logs and rocks then the path got narrower and you would get scratched by thorns, stung by all the stingers and then whacked in the face by the person infront after they let go of a branch. At one point I was crawling on my hands and knees to avoid the thorny overhead branches. 

If that wasn’t bad enough the path then got steeper. After a while there was a rope to help you. I should have thought right there that the path was going to get worse and I should turn back, but no, stupid me continued. 

The rope was very much needed – I would never have done it without it. Eventually we came out of the bushes to see the cave infront of us. The only thing is that it was high up. 

The only way you could get to the cave was now full-on climbing. I worked so hard and then I failed at the final hurdle. 

There was no way I was getting up there.

In the past when I have been on a diet that was exactly what has happened. I would try really hard and do really well. Then I would even see my final goal and then when things got tougher, my willpower went and my belief that I could do it went too, eventhough my support (the rope) continued to help me until the end. Previously I had let myself down and I am determined that I am not going to let it happen this time.

I couldn’t wait to get back down because I am now aching in places that I didn’t even realise existed and my waterproof jacket is not quite so waterproof anymore!

No weigh in

Day 239

Friday 26th August 2016

Today is turning out to be a really busy day. Everyone is working hard around the house getting lots of jobs done. 

We are also packing for a weekend away with the kids and dogs. It’s hard to prepare my food when we are all so pre-occupied 

Preparing healthy meals every day has become part of my daily routine and when I am too busy it can really mess with my routine.

I could quite easily slip at times like that. The only good thing about it is that I am too busy to think about food. 

I am a mother who teaches my kids to cook, clean and tidy up after themselves. It doesn’t always work especially, the tiding up after themselves, but they do like the cooking part.

Today, as we were busy, my sons thought about me and made me my health lunch and dinner. It was such a help and it meant I didn’t end up eating the wrong food which was a bonus.

Kids can come in very handy sometimes.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8lbs.    ⬅️➡️.  . 67lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.2kg.      ⬅️➡️.     31.3kg⬇️total

Day 238

Thursday 25th August 2016

About 6 years ago we were on a family holiday to Canada. While we were there we went up the CN Tower in Toronto. I am ok with heights if I have something to hold onto. 

When at the top of the CN Tower there was this floor made of glass and you could see all the way to the ground. I could not walk on the glass – it made me very nervous to look through it. 

I held onto the edge so tight and walked with my feet as close to the edge as I could. All the people around thought I was funny. This one guy, who I had never met, got me and pushed me into the centre of the glass I screamed really loud and everybody else laughed. 

I have that same nervous feeling if standing on the edge of a cliff. 

I can’t stand too close to the edge because I am afraid I am going to fall over the edge.

This morning when I woke up I was really nervous and on edge. I felt like I was standing on the edge of that cliff. 

The reason I was nervous today was because the GCSE results are in. My eldest son has worked really hard to get good marks and today we would finally see how well he had done. 

He, however, was really calm – it was just me who was the nervous wreck. I really didn’t have to worry though because he did really well and got into the sixth form of his choice. 

That nervous feeling can really mess things up for the day. It made me feel nauseous and sick which meant that I didn’t feel hungry at all but at the same time I felt that I wanted to eat. 

I think in the past I would have eaten anything in sight. It was comfort eating anything to make me feel better and take my mind off the nerves. Today I had to sit and endure it. 

After he got his results I had instant relief and then the tiredness kicked in. I was extremely tired then for the rest of the day. A lot more than normal. 

Nerves can do so much to mess up your routine. It took a lot to stay focused today.  I did but those nerves have a lot to answer for!

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.     67lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.2kg.       0.1kg⬆️.      31.3kg⬇️total

Day 237

Wednesday 24th August 2016

I have realised recently that I am a lot calmer than I used to be. 

Last year I used to lose my temper or get in a mood really quickly. I had a low tolerance threshold. I am one of these people when things get to much I can’t cope. Anything anybody would ask me would get me distressed 

Kids can be really annoying sometimes but on these occasions I would act a little unreasonable. I have acted that way with Matt too

I was like a boiling kettle getting hotter and hotter until eventually I hit boiling point and I had to let off steam. 

The only way I coped with it was by going to bed when I felt like that. 

If I think back my family had to put up with a lot. If I think about it now though it must have all been because of my weight and the fact that I was tired all the time. Letting off steam was a very common occurrence back then. 

Matt and the boys have this look they give to each other that said “she’s off on one again” and they knew to leave me alone. 

I have thought that I haven’t had one of these episodes in a long time. No mood swings, no losing my temper. I have to say it’s been a happier house all round.

The kids can still be really annoying but I seem to be able to cope a little better with it now. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7.8lbs.     0.3lbs⬆️    67.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.1kg.         0.1kg⬆️.      31.4kg⬇️total

Day 236

Tuesday 23rd August 2016

When trying to lose weight I think your body can go through many changes. 

You change size, change shape, your health changes for the better, generally there is an all round improvement 

However it can have its frustrations.  When the scales just don’t move can be really annoying. It can be even more annoying when the scales go up and down all the time. 

I feel like I am on a bungee rope. 

At first you go down really quickly. Then you find that you go back up again. The weight then drops again and then I find that you just bob up and down around the same spot for a while and eventually after a long time you will come to a stop ( when you get to your goal)

I find that I am at the bobbing up and down stage at the moment. The only thing with that is that it takes an awful long time to stop and reach your goal. It feels like it is taking forever. 

I do find the body strange – why does the weight bob up and down when I haven’t changed anything with my diet ? Maybe it’s because of water retention or even the different variety of food that gets eaten each day. I don’t think I will ever know. 

The only thing I can do is carry on doing what I am doing because I am bound to stop eventually.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7.5lbs.   0.2lbs⬆️   67.5lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105kg.        0.1kg⬆️.      31.5kg⬇️total

Day 235

Monday 22nd August 2016

I have found over the summer that I have eaten out a lot. When I go out for a meal I find that I really want to order food that I can’t have now. 

I don’t know why because I have got into some really good habits this year. I think it’s because when I look at a menu I seem to home in on everything I have chosen for years.

Beef burgers were the things I ordered most. 

Sometimes I find that I am really craving for one too. However I have found that maybe I can’t order a burger the normal way ( with the bun) but I can still order it if I want. I don’t eat the bun, I replace the chips for sweet potato fries and ask for more salad. 

I sometimes find myself ordering something really healthy because I know that is what I should do. I find ordering something I don’t fancy really hard. Once it’s ordered I sit there hoping I am going to like my food when it arrives. 

When it finally does arrive I find that I really enjoy my choice – proberly even more than if I had actually order a burger.

I always thought that a salad wouldn’t fill me up enough. I have always thought that I need something really fattening to fill me up. I never realised what damage I was doing to my body. I now find that a salad is enough and I constantly get amazed at how full I feel afterwards. 

So eating out maybe different but its achievable and I don’t tend to struggle too much anymore when it comes to ordering.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7.3lbs.   ➡️⬅️.     67.7lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

104.9kg.       ⬅️➡️          31.4kg⬇️total