Year 2 week 47

19th – 25th November 2017

I am still on my detox, I feel I have been doing quite well. I have started to get really bored with it now though. Partly because the weight has stopped coming off and partly because I am sick of salad.

My exercise has not been quite as good. I think at first I didn’t do too much because I was feeling weak. This week I have managed to up my exercise a little.

I have done something I never thought I would ever see myself do – I have joined a running club. My friend has been going to this club for a while and she has been asking me to go. I have always managed to find some excuse of why not to go so it ended up that she stopped asking me.

I just didn’t want to go – it was also at night which is the time when I relax. I also felt that I would be an embarrassment – not fit enough, and I felt I would always be at the back holding people up. I don’t know what came over me though because I asked my friend if I could go with her this week. I really didn’t want to go I just knew I needed to go.

After I asked her the nerves came over me but I still went. We did an hour of circuit training first and to my surprise I could keep up and I could do most of the things that we were supposed to do.

After that came the running and I have to say all my fears disappeared as I could keep up. They did these little challenges to make it more interesting that I liked. I really enjoyed myself

I didn’t feel embarrassed at all. Well that was until I was in the middle of one of the challenges and we were to run down a cul-de-sac as fast as we could and then run back up again.

On my way down though I tripped over a kerb. I was then heading straight for someone’s front garden fence and, I don’t know how I did it, but I hurdled it and then I was then face to face with a tree that unbelievably I managed to dodge only to be faced with another fence that I also hurdled. I think that all became too much for me because I then went splat in someone else driveway!

Because I was doing quite well and I wasn’t at the back meant I also had an audience. All these people came running to see how I was. Surprisingly though I was fine other than scrapes on my hands and knees.

Everyone was so nice. People who saw me said it was a very impressive fall and was amazed I stayed on my feet for so long. Others came up to me saying how on their first week they did the same thing. My fall, in someways, helped me get to know people and it has made me want to go next week.

One thing I have always told my kids is that sometimes in life there are things that we don’t want to do but when we do it, it can end up being quite rewarding and you never know you might even enjoy it. I think this week I have said that to myself .

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Year 2 week 44

29th October- 4th November 2017

One thing I have really struggled this year with has been motivation.

I think it’s because I achieved one of my main goals this year. One of my goals was to have enough energy to keep up with my kids. My kids are typical kids and have heaps of energy. 

Before I started this journey I couldn’t even walk up the stairs without being out of breath. 16 months later I did a half marathon! 

For me doing that half marathon in Rwanda was so amazing. It was something that I never thought I could ever do. I was so overwhelmed at the time that I did it. That to me that was my ultimate goal. I felt that there was nothing I could do any better than that. I felt that I had climbed the highest mountain and actually reached the top. 

Since then it has been hard staying motivated. The trouble with reaching your goal is that there is nothing left to aim for. Once you reach that point and you get to the top of your mountain there is only one place left to go and that’s DOWN. 

Sometimes to go down can be fun. It means that there are no restrictions on your life. It’s like I can do anything and get away with it. However you do end up with a feeling of guilt that you have let things slip so bad. 

The getting away with it can only last so long. With falling there comes a point where you hit the ground. Hitting rock bottom can be very painful and usually at that point it’s very hard to see a way out of it. 

I feel that since Rwanda that is what I have been doing – FALLING. In my mind though I didn’t want to fall I feel I protected myself from the impact – it’s like I put on my parachute so when I hit the ground it wasn’t so painful. 

This month I have set myself new goals.  I have hit the ground now but I have decided to turn around and start climbing that mountain again. 

I have decided that for the month of November I am going to concentrate on my eating again. I have already had a carb free 4 days and lost a few pounds too. I would like to continue my healthy eating throughout this month and hopefully it will give me the boost I need to continue after. 

I have also signed up for another half marathon – this time in Kenya. It’s in June of next year. I will be raising money again for the charity Compassion UK.

I think for me the fact I am doing it again isn’t quite as significant as before. What it does do though is help me to keep active, gives me something to focus on and I get to help some needy children in Africa in the process. 

I came back from doing my last half marathon thinking I would never do one again. My fitness levels have depleted so much that I feel I have signed up without the ability to succeed. Knowing this is coming hopefully will get me motivated to train.

After June next year, when I’ve completed my second half marathon, I’m hoping that I won’t fall like I did this year. Well that’s what I’m aiming for. 
 

 https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/500/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 41

8th – 14th October 2017

I always thought while going down this journey that losing weight would be so much harder than trying to maintain it. 

I have to admit that I would still love to lose weight and I still have another 3-4 stone to lose. It has actually been a year since I have lost any weight and it has not been without trying. 

I have been at this stage many times in my life but never for a year. Normally after losing so much weight I always plateau. I get to the stage of not being able to lose anymore weight and then after a few months it goes back on again. On a few occasions it has sent me into a depression which has made matters so much worse. 

Here I am a year on and I am still in that place. I am still eating healthy 80% of the time the other 20% are the stages that I really find hard and I slip for a short while. 

I am still exercising too, some weeks are good.  Last year my normal distance was 5k this year it’s 7k sometimes I even go further. 

This week though has been particularly bad. I meet a group of ladies once a week. We all run together. I have always felt that I do ok. I am not the fastest but I am not the slowest either. 

This week though I was so tired that I almost didn’t go. I thought it would do me good so I did go. During the run I was lagging behind so much that I held everybody up. 

It was like I had lost my whole ability to run at all. I was out of breath, my legs were aching so much and my energy levels disappeared so quickly. I just couldn’t keep up at all


I haven’t really ached much after a run for a long time – probably ever since I did my half marathon. This time though I seemed to ache for days. 

On this occasion it had the total opposite effect on me that I would have thought. 

Instead of me thinking I have lost all my ability and end up going down the route of all the bad 20% of my eating habits, it made me more determined instead. I looked at it as a blip and I was happier I went even though I was aching. 

Year 2 week 32

6th – 12th August 2017

In some stages of my life I have suffered with depression. It has usually been when I have tried to lose weight and failed. 

Depression is something that comes on so gradually that you hardly notice you’re getting it. Once it has got hold of you it’s like  you still don’t notice that you have it – it’s the people around you that notice and they are the ones that suffer. 

For me, when I had it, I didn’t want to do anything. I would sit on the sofa all day and do nothing other than watch films. Jobs that needed to be done around the house just didn’t get done because I couldn’t be bothered. Any slight little issue that cropped up I just couldn’t deal with it, I would end up in tears not knowing how to sort it out. It usually meant that Matt sorted it out for me. My kids have learnt to become very domesticated, which is great now,  but I am sure at the time it wasn’t fair on them. 

This may sound really stupid but depression was a place, at the time, I think I was happy to be in while I was living it and I didn’t have the desire to leave. Thankfully, now I am not there anymore, I see it as a place I do not want to go back to. 

Over the last 18 months I feel I have found a remedy – it’s called exercise. If I think back some of my most happiest times is when I have been doing exercises. Training for my half marathon in Rwanda was one of the hardest things physically I have had to do, but mentally it was a release from all that negativity in my life. It also gave me purpose – something to aim for. 

We have been very lucky because we have room in our house for a gym. It is a place I have been a lot over the past 18 months. However over the past 2 months we have decided to renovate our house and our gym is no more. Well that is until the work is completed. 

I have not done too much exercise since coming back from Rwanda. Partly because we have been away a lot and partly because we have no gym.

I do like exercising outdoors but I like to go with other people. But the days I plan to go it always seems to be raining. 


Exercising in the rain is not much fun. I have never been a person who is really proactive when it comes to exercise so l struggle to go on my own – especially if it’s raining!

I have to admit that over the last few weeks I have been getting slightly down. It can only be the lack of exercise. This week though I have tried to be a bit more proactive and get myself back out there. 

I have managed to do a few bike rides and some walks. I have not started the running back up but I will soon. I have to say it’s worked and cheered me up no end. That’s probably because the weather has been nice as well. 

So I never thought I would ever say this but I can’t wait for the gym to be finished so I can start running again and not have to go out in the rain! 

Year 2 week 18

30th April – 6th May 2017

It’s less than a week now until I go to Rwanda and I face a pretty big physical challenge for me.

Training for a half marathon has been really hard. If I think about it now, I think I must have had a moment of madness. It seems a crazy thing to have done.  When I signed up it was something that was totally out of reach – at that time there would have been no way I could have ever done it.

I think one of the reasons I did sign up was because I wanted to continue on this journey I have been going down for the last 16 months. I was finding it hard to stay focused on my goals and I felt I needed a challenge to continue. My focus changed from myself to all the children I will be helping along the way. 

It has taken a lot of grit and determination to train for this event. I don’t think I could have done it though without a few people helping me along the way. 

Matt has been great – he has trained with me on some occasions. He has also been a great encourager. 

There are also a few ladies that I train with once a week. One of those ladies has gone out of her way to help me. One week we went and with no warning I said I wanted to go 8 miles. She was brilliant and totally up for the challenge. This week I told her I wanted to do 10 miles – she went out of her way planning what route to do. 

We did pick the hottest day, but we did it. We actually went 10 miles. Sometimes I think I dreamt it, but I didn’t – we really did it. After, when I got home, I was so happy that I was dancing around the house. I don’t know where I got the energy from. 


For the past 6 weeks I got myself a running coach because I felt I needed all the help I could get. He has been brilliant, he has shown me a few techniques that should make it easier for me when I am running. He has told me where to position my feet with every step, how to swing my arms, to look up, how to breathe and so much more. 

You would think that these things would come naturally that you would automatically know how to swing your arms and breathe. But no – apparently there is a wrong way. So the training with him has been vital and I think I have come on a long way since he joined ‘Team Debbie’!

I think when it comes to doing the half marathon I will have his voice going around in my head telling me to lift my head and control my breathing – much to Matts dismay I’m sure. 

Thank you everyone who has sponsored me too. It shows how much you are all with me in this. If you haven’t yet but want to, tap on the link

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 16

16th – 22nd April 2017

This week has been a real struggle. I don’t know why, but I am struggling to get motivated to do anything. 

I always seem to find things harder when the kids are off school, I think it is because my routine changes. With the kids off school this Easter, I have forgotten appointments, struggled to eat healthy and I have found it hard to go out training for my half marathon. 

I have taken my training very seriously. I know if I don’t train there is no way I can do it. Even though I have struggled this week, I have still managed to go out running. 

One thing I have noticed lately is that I seem to have slowed up a lot, things that I found easy all of a sudden now seem hard, I also feel like when I am running I have a big heavy weight on my back slowing me down. 

I feel like I have led weights in my shoes too. I am managing to do the distances I want to achieve, but it seems to be taking so much more out of me than normal.

I am hoping that when the kids go back to school again next week I will start to find things a bit easier again. Until then I will have to continue struggling.

Year 2 week 15

9th – 15th April 2017

Training for the half marathon in Rwanda is well under way. I am managing to get out at least 3 times a week and averaging at least 12 miles a week running. 

It has caused a problem. With all the extra running means I am ending up extra hungry which means I am eating extra food. 

One of the rules I am finding hard to keep is only eating my meals and not eating for 5 hours between my meals. 

Last year I spent half of the year hungry and I seemed to cope with it ok. Now the hunger seems to get to me a bit more. I don’t know if it’s because I have lost my motivation or because the extra exercise is making me hungry. 

The good thing is that I have noticed it and I can now start reeling it back in.

I am finding the training pretty tough. I am not a runner and I have not, in recent years, ran 12 metres a week let alone 12 miles. I have still got a long way to go and a lot more miles to put in before I go to Rwanda in less than a months time. 

I have never trained for anything in my life before. I am starting to wonder if I can do it at all. I think it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. The more I train the tireder I am getting and the more I am doubting my ability. 

One thing that keeps me going is knowing I am going to be helping children out of poverty – it makes every step worth the effort. 

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 13

26th March – 1st April 2017

This week has been quite a tough week. Training for a half marathon is hard – a lot harder than I thought it would be. 

Last week I ran my first 10k. I was really happy with my achievement to run 10k with only 2 weeks training since my operation. It made me feel that a half marathon is achievable. 

This week though things have gone totally in the other direction. I feel like I am making 1 step forward and 2 steps back. 

I have managed to do some training. One day I went with Matt and Jake (my youngest son).  Going with Matt is usually really good and helpful but on this occasion it was slightly demoralising. Jake is a very fast runner, he is always winning his cross country races at school and Matt started physically running circles around me. 


Then the running circles turned into skipping circles and laughing as he did it. He was trying to get me to enjoy the experience and have fun. 

I did laugh along with him but for me seeing him and Jake with so much energy while I was totally exhausted I don’t think really helped. 

My pace is just not challenging enough for him. It made me feel like I was putting in so much effort but physically going nowhere. 

However when I got back home and collapsed on the sofa I realised that I did it a minute quicker than normal. So I think Matt running circles around me worked. 

It hasn’t stopped me feeling extra tired this week. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am doing it for a worthy cause. 

Every time I run I think of the fact that I will potentially be helping some children that need it. It is exciting to think I will be actually meeting the children I will be helping. I will be seeing the good work Compassion does and see where that money I have raised goes to. It makes every step, however hard, worth it. 

If you feel you can help me on my challenge and help those children get out of poverty then click the link. 

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 11

12th – 18th March 2017

I have always been a person who isn’t afraid of failing. To me failing is something to learn from, a way to improve. Failing is giving up. 

Thomas Edison made the lightbulb. For him to get to the lightbulb that actually worked he had hundreds of failed attempts. His response to those failed attempts were I now know hundreds of ways of how not to do it. The thing is he persevered and eventually succeeded. He never gave up. 

Sometimes when I draw a picture it can take me a good few attempts to get it right. I have, on quite a few occasions, been known to throw away my first attempts and try again. What I have learnt from it is that I now know a few ways of how not to do it. So I keep trying until I get it right. 

Because I am not afraid to fail it means I am not afraid to take on a challenge. One thing I have been aiming for since the middle of last year is the biggest challenge of my life. 

Last year when the weight was coming off and I could do a lot more activities I wanted to do a challenge that I would never have even attempted before I lost the weight and yesterday I signed up. 

Basically I have signed up to run a half marathon in Rwanda. It’s to raise money for a charity called Compassion. 

Compassion helps children around the world. You can sponsor a child for £25 a month and that money gives that child an opportunity to get an education which leads to a good job enabling them to be able to support their family. 

I am running to raise £10,000 to give 10 children the opportunity of a better future. 

Before I started this journey I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t think about the needs of others. Now though I feel I can and it’s helping me stay motivated on my own goals at the same time. 

However, this challenge is the first time I have ever got a fear of failing. I think it’s because there is so much at stake and the fact that I only have one shot at it. If I fail it’s not like I can try again. I would have just failed and I would feel I have let so many people down. 

I told Matt my fears and he said “at least you are failing up”.  I thought about that and I realised he was right. To fail is to not even try and I know I am doing that. 

I have however had a few setbacks. Before Christmas I could run 5 miles but I needed to have an operation because I knew I couldn’t run with all that saggy skin. So that was 6 weeks out. I then got vertigo which didn’t help and then I could finally start running again and I got the biggest blister on my toe which made my whole foot blow up like a balloon. 

This week though I managed to start my training back up again. I have ran 20 miles this week in total and now I am exhausted. I know this challenge will be hard, I know it is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am not even sure if I will finish it but I am going to try my best and if I fail at least I will know I have done my best. 

The run is in 8 weeks time so I have a lot of training to do and money to raise in a short space of time. If you would like to sponsor me, tap on the link. https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 3

15th – 21st January 2017

This week has been so different from last week. Last week I was really struggling to stay focused this week it’s the total opposite. 

I don’t know why the sudden turn around.  I can only think it’s because I have been feeling a lot better and my cold has almost gone. 

Last week I said how I felt I was being pulled back. The thing with when you are pulled back is that it provides thrust so when you are realised you go so much faster. Like a bullet leaving a gun, not stopping until it hits its destination. 


That is how I feel this week – I have one destination and I won’t stop until I get there.

I have been quite good with my food and  I have been weighing it again. My exercise has seemed to go up a gear. 

I have done about an hour a day walking, running or in the gym. I have done this a lot last year but I never did any running. 

I would never have been able to run during the first part of last year. Knowing that I can now is great.  My fitness levels have risen so much. 

Comparing makes me think that if I carry on I can improve again in a relatively short space of time and I find that quite encouraging.