Year 2 week 32

6th – 12th August 2017

In some stages of my life I have suffered with depression. It has usually been when I have tried to lose weight and failed. 

Depression is something that comes on so gradually that you hardly notice you’re getting it. Once it has got hold of you it’s like  you still don’t notice that you have it – it’s the people around you that notice and they are the ones that suffer. 

For me, when I had it, I didn’t want to do anything. I would sit on the sofa all day and do nothing other than watch films. Jobs that needed to be done around the house just didn’t get done because I couldn’t be bothered. Any slight little issue that cropped up I just couldn’t deal with it, I would end up in tears not knowing how to sort it out. It usually meant that Matt sorted it out for me. My kids have learnt to become very domesticated, which is great now,  but I am sure at the time it wasn’t fair on them. 

This may sound really stupid but depression was a place, at the time, I think I was happy to be in while I was living it and I didn’t have the desire to leave. Thankfully, now I am not there anymore, I see it as a place I do not want to go back to. 

Over the last 18 months I feel I have found a remedy – it’s called exercise. If I think back some of my most happiest times is when I have been doing exercises. Training for my half marathon in Rwanda was one of the hardest things physically I have had to do, but mentally it was a release from all that negativity in my life. It also gave me purpose – something to aim for. 

We have been very lucky because we have room in our house for a gym. It is a place I have been a lot over the past 18 months. However over the past 2 months we have decided to renovate our house and our gym is no more. Well that is until the work is completed. 

I have not done too much exercise since coming back from Rwanda. Partly because we have been away a lot and partly because we have no gym.

I do like exercising outdoors but I like to go with other people. But the days I plan to go it always seems to be raining. 


Exercising in the rain is not much fun. I have never been a person who is really proactive when it comes to exercise so l struggle to go on my own – especially if it’s raining!

I have to admit that over the last few weeks I have been getting slightly down. It can only be the lack of exercise. This week though I have tried to be a bit more proactive and get myself back out there. 

I have managed to do a few bike rides and some walks. I have not started the running back up but I will soon. I have to say it’s worked and cheered me up no end. That’s probably because the weather has been nice as well. 

So I never thought I would ever say this but I can’t wait for the gym to be finished so I can start running again and not have to go out in the rain! 

Year 2 week 18

30th April – 6th May 2017

It’s less than a week now until I go to Rwanda and I face a pretty big physical challenge for me.

Training for a half marathon has been really hard. If I think about it now, I think I must have had a moment of madness. It seems a crazy thing to have done.  When I signed up it was something that was totally out of reach – at that time there would have been no way I could have ever done it.

I think one of the reasons I did sign up was because I wanted to continue on this journey I have been going down for the last 16 months. I was finding it hard to stay focused on my goals and I felt I needed a challenge to continue. My focus changed from myself to all the children I will be helping along the way. 

It has taken a lot of grit and determination to train for this event. I don’t think I could have done it though without a few people helping me along the way. 

Matt has been great – he has trained with me on some occasions. He has also been a great encourager. 

There are also a few ladies that I train with once a week. One of those ladies has gone out of her way to help me. One week we went and with no warning I said I wanted to go 8 miles. She was brilliant and totally up for the challenge. This week I told her I wanted to do 10 miles – she went out of her way planning what route to do. 

We did pick the hottest day, but we did it. We actually went 10 miles. Sometimes I think I dreamt it, but I didn’t – we really did it. After, when I got home, I was so happy that I was dancing around the house. I don’t know where I got the energy from. 


For the past 6 weeks I got myself a running coach because I felt I needed all the help I could get. He has been brilliant, he has shown me a few techniques that should make it easier for me when I am running. He has told me where to position my feet with every step, how to swing my arms, to look up, how to breathe and so much more. 

You would think that these things would come naturally that you would automatically know how to swing your arms and breathe. But no – apparently there is a wrong way. So the training with him has been vital and I think I have come on a long way since he joined ‘Team Debbie’!

I think when it comes to doing the half marathon I will have his voice going around in my head telling me to lift my head and control my breathing – much to Matts dismay I’m sure. 

Thank you everyone who has sponsored me too. It shows how much you are all with me in this. If you haven’t yet but want to, tap on the link

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 16

16th – 22nd April 2017

This week has been a real struggle. I don’t know why, but I am struggling to get motivated to do anything. 

I always seem to find things harder when the kids are off school, I think it is because my routine changes. With the kids off school this Easter, I have forgotten appointments, struggled to eat healthy and I have found it hard to go out training for my half marathon. 

I have taken my training very seriously. I know if I don’t train there is no way I can do it. Even though I have struggled this week, I have still managed to go out running. 

One thing I have noticed lately is that I seem to have slowed up a lot, things that I found easy all of a sudden now seem hard, I also feel like when I am running I have a big heavy weight on my back slowing me down. 

I feel like I have led weights in my shoes too. I am managing to do the distances I want to achieve, but it seems to be taking so much more out of me than normal.

I am hoping that when the kids go back to school again next week I will start to find things a bit easier again. Until then I will have to continue struggling.

Year 2 week 15

9th – 15th April 2017

Training for the half marathon in Rwanda is well under way. I am managing to get out at least 3 times a week and averaging at least 12 miles a week running. 

It has caused a problem. With all the extra running means I am ending up extra hungry which means I am eating extra food. 

One of the rules I am finding hard to keep is only eating my meals and not eating for 5 hours between my meals. 

Last year I spent half of the year hungry and I seemed to cope with it ok. Now the hunger seems to get to me a bit more. I don’t know if it’s because I have lost my motivation or because the extra exercise is making me hungry. 

The good thing is that I have noticed it and I can now start reeling it back in.

I am finding the training pretty tough. I am not a runner and I have not, in recent years, ran 12 metres a week let alone 12 miles. I have still got a long way to go and a lot more miles to put in before I go to Rwanda in less than a months time. 

I have never trained for anything in my life before. I am starting to wonder if I can do it at all. I think it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. The more I train the tireder I am getting and the more I am doubting my ability. 

One thing that keeps me going is knowing I am going to be helping children out of poverty – it makes every step worth the effort. 

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 13

26th March – 1st April 2017

This week has been quite a tough week. Training for a half marathon is hard – a lot harder than I thought it would be. 

Last week I ran my first 10k. I was really happy with my achievement to run 10k with only 2 weeks training since my operation. It made me feel that a half marathon is achievable. 

This week though things have gone totally in the other direction. I feel like I am making 1 step forward and 2 steps back. 

I have managed to do some training. One day I went with Matt and Jake (my youngest son).  Going with Matt is usually really good and helpful but on this occasion it was slightly demoralising. Jake is a very fast runner, he is always winning his cross country races at school and Matt started physically running circles around me. 


Then the running circles turned into skipping circles and laughing as he did it. He was trying to get me to enjoy the experience and have fun. 

I did laugh along with him but for me seeing him and Jake with so much energy while I was totally exhausted I don’t think really helped. 

My pace is just not challenging enough for him. It made me feel like I was putting in so much effort but physically going nowhere. 

However when I got back home and collapsed on the sofa I realised that I did it a minute quicker than normal. So I think Matt running circles around me worked. 

It hasn’t stopped me feeling extra tired this week. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am doing it for a worthy cause. 

Every time I run I think of the fact that I will potentially be helping some children that need it. It is exciting to think I will be actually meeting the children I will be helping. I will be seeing the good work Compassion does and see where that money I have raised goes to. It makes every step, however hard, worth it. 

If you feel you can help me on my challenge and help those children get out of poverty then click the link. 

https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 11

12th – 18th March 2017

I have always been a person who isn’t afraid of failing. To me failing is something to learn from, a way to improve. Failing is giving up. 

Thomas Edison made the lightbulb. For him to get to the lightbulb that actually worked he had hundreds of failed attempts. His response to those failed attempts were I now know hundreds of ways of how not to do it. The thing is he persevered and eventually succeeded. He never gave up. 

Sometimes when I draw a picture it can take me a good few attempts to get it right. I have, on quite a few occasions, been known to throw away my first attempts and try again. What I have learnt from it is that I now know a few ways of how not to do it. So I keep trying until I get it right. 

Because I am not afraid to fail it means I am not afraid to take on a challenge. One thing I have been aiming for since the middle of last year is the biggest challenge of my life. 

Last year when the weight was coming off and I could do a lot more activities I wanted to do a challenge that I would never have even attempted before I lost the weight and yesterday I signed up. 

Basically I have signed up to run a half marathon in Rwanda. It’s to raise money for a charity called Compassion. 

Compassion helps children around the world. You can sponsor a child for £25 a month and that money gives that child an opportunity to get an education which leads to a good job enabling them to be able to support their family. 

I am running to raise £10,000 to give 10 children the opportunity of a better future. 

Before I started this journey I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t think about the needs of others. Now though I feel I can and it’s helping me stay motivated on my own goals at the same time. 

However, this challenge is the first time I have ever got a fear of failing. I think it’s because there is so much at stake and the fact that I only have one shot at it. If I fail it’s not like I can try again. I would have just failed and I would feel I have let so many people down. 

I told Matt my fears and he said “at least you are failing up”.  I thought about that and I realised he was right. To fail is to not even try and I know I am doing that. 

I have however had a few setbacks. Before Christmas I could run 5 miles but I needed to have an operation because I knew I couldn’t run with all that saggy skin. So that was 6 weeks out. I then got vertigo which didn’t help and then I could finally start running again and I got the biggest blister on my toe which made my whole foot blow up like a balloon. 

This week though I managed to start my training back up again. I have ran 20 miles this week in total and now I am exhausted. I know this challenge will be hard, I know it is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am not even sure if I will finish it but I am going to try my best and if I fail at least I will know I have done my best. 

The run is in 8 weeks time so I have a lot of training to do and money to raise in a short space of time. If you would like to sponsor me, tap on the link. https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 3

15th – 21st January 2017

This week has been so different from last week. Last week I was really struggling to stay focused this week it’s the total opposite. 

I don’t know why the sudden turn around.  I can only think it’s because I have been feeling a lot better and my cold has almost gone. 

Last week I said how I felt I was being pulled back. The thing with when you are pulled back is that it provides thrust so when you are realised you go so much faster. Like a bullet leaving a gun, not stopping until it hits its destination. 


That is how I feel this week – I have one destination and I won’t stop until I get there.

I have been quite good with my food and  I have been weighing it again. My exercise has seemed to go up a gear. 

I have done about an hour a day walking, running or in the gym. I have done this a lot last year but I never did any running. 

I would never have been able to run during the first part of last year. Knowing that I can now is great.  My fitness levels have risen so much. 

Comparing makes me think that if I carry on I can improve again in a relatively short space of time and I find that quite encouraging. 

Day 327

Tuesday 22nd November 2016

I have achieved so many of my goals this year that I set at the start of the year. Climbing Snowdon was the last physical goal I completed. After I did it I felt that I needed to set more so I had something to aim for. 

One of the new goals was to run 3k before Christmas. Today I had my training and he asked me to do some running on the tread mill. He told me to stop at one point but I said no as I just wanted to keep running until I got to the 2 mile mark. 

After I was so happy with myself I was jumping for joy. I was that happy I could have ran it all again.

I know 2 mile doesn’t sound like much but to me it was a great achievement. This time last year I wouldn’t have ran 2 steps let alone 2 miles. 

I then realised that 2 miles is 3.2 kilometres which means I actually achieved one of my new goals.

After the run I wasn’t even tired – I felt I could have carried on. I was buzzing then for the rest of the day. 

My son was also jumping for joy as he passed his driving test, which has made Matt happy because my son can now do all the lifts!

So today we have a happier household than normal which is really nice to see. 

Day 285

Tuesday 11th October 2016

This week is turning out to be a lot better than last week. I am definitely in a better mood. 

I had my training again today. Running has become one of the things I do now. Years ago when I was trying to get fit I would run around the block and I would set myself distances that I could see ahead. I would say to myself “I’ll run to that spot” and then I could walk again. 

I have never really been a person who would run without stopping. Now though I feel every time I run I am improving. 

Today I ran for a mile without stopping. 

I have never done that before in my life. I think the furthest I have ever run without stopping before this year is a few yards. 

It took me 8 minutes – I know it wasn’t quick and I know it wasn’t far but for me it was a great accomplishment. Afterwards I could have carried on but I think it is best to go one step at a time. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.8lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. 34.9kg⬇️total

Day 278

Tuesday 4th October 2016

I have been feeling really fed up lately. I think it’s because the weight hasn’t been coming off this week and last week it came off so quick. 

Yesterday was particularly bad. It was one of those days that I didn’t want to do anything, I was really bored. I don’t know why but I find when I am bored I can’t get motivated to do anything. That includes healthy eating. 

I did ok until lunch – there was a tiny piece of cake that I just had to have. It was the nicest cake I have ever tasted. For the rest of the day I thought I had really blown it. I felt that I had totally let myself down. 

This morning though I woke up and decided to forget about yesterday and start afresh today. I thought sitting and wallowing in my failings wasn’t going to help me at all. 

I know that I can’t stop but sometimes it’s hard not to when you can’t see the way forward.


This morning I had my training and he got me on the running machine. I ran without stopping for 6 minutes. I know 6 minutes doesn’t seem that long but when last year I couldn’t even run for 6 seconds I think that is a great improvement. When it was finished I wasn’t even out of breath I felt I could have ran for longer. 

So my training today has helped me get over the disappointment of yesterday. It has made me want to carry on. It has shown me how far I have come, it has made me not want to stop. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.8lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. 34.9kg⬇️total