Year 2 week 43

22nd – 28th October 2017

This week has been quite an emotional week. For about a year now our church have had a women’s mission trip to Serbia planned. Nine women were on the team and I was one of them.

We were going to do a women’s retreat and help surport a charity called Choose Life. It’s a charity that helps young pregnant women.  There aim is to prevent abortion and help the mothers with there babies. 

When it was booked Matt was going to go on a cycling trip for another charity called The Message Trust. His trip was in Israel and he was to cycle from the Red to the Dead Sea.

Matts trip was the beginning of October and mine was near the end it meant we could both go on these trips, so we booked in. Since booking Matts trip changed to the same time as mine. He left about 5 days before I did though.

We did try and look for someone to stay in our house but to no avail. It meant that I was leaving for Serbia and the kids were going to be home alone for 5 days.

Before I left I was freaking out. The thought of leaving the kids home alone was not helping my nerves at all. Even though 3 of them are teenagers and are old enough to look after Jake who is 9 it didn’t stop me worrying. The nearer it got to me leaving the more freaked out I was getting. By the time I left I was a nervous wreck. 

My week in Serbia was amazing the retreat went really well. At the retreat I got to speak and share my story on becoming a mother all about our road to adoption. I think a few people from our team learnt alot of things they didn’t know about me. I got to learn a lot about them too.

I also got very creative there too we got to do a few workshops that were fun. It was just good to meet new people.

One thing I went to Serbia for was to paint a picture on the wall of the Choose Life centre it was a picture I drew about 4 years ago and since then I have dreamed of painting it on there wall. They were excited about it and I thought it was an honour to do it. 


The lady who runs the charity asked me to name her. I decided I wanted to call her Nada which means hope in Serbian.

While I was away I hardly had time to worry about the kids and what they were getting up to at home. I called a few times But I just decided to trust them and enjoy my time away.

I am now home and I was very happy to see that the house was still standing, that I still did have 4 kids intact and they hadn’t killed each other and that basically there wasn’t any problems.

I think the moral of the story is to not worry about what you can’t control and trust that it will all work out. As a family we have a bible verse we abide by it’s in

Matthew 6:34.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I think I just forgot for a while there.

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Day 344

Friday 9th December 2016

I find the run up to Christmas a very busy time, there is so much preparation that goes into just one day. 

A lot of it is waiting – waiting for parcels to arrive, waiting for food to be delivered. Waiting for it all to be over. 


When I am expecting a delivery there is nothing worse than waiting in all day for it to arrive and then half the time it either doesn’t come or it comes when you are out on the school run. So the waiting will have to happen all over again tomorrow. 

The thing about waiting for things is it can get very boring. Boredom is something that makes me feel really hungry. 

Usually I would go to my sewing room and do some work but because we are doing work on our house that room is out of action at the moment.

Even though I have got into some very good eating habits this year and I have got used to eating so much less than I used to, I still feel hungry when I am bored. 

I don’t know why this is – it’s probably because I have time to think about my hunger. Which makes me want to eat. At times like that I have always gone to the fridge 

This year I haven’t gone to the fridge once. It has helped though that I draw a picture everyday because that has kept my mind occupied on other things rather than food. 

My drawings though can’t continue forever. It will be impossible to keep up this pace – I am surprised that I have managed to do it for so long and one day soon they will stop. I just hope that means I won’t go back into my old habits again. 

Day 257

Tuesday 13th September 2016

Today is one of those days that I shouldn’t have even bothered to get out of bed.

Every Tuesday I have a few ladies over and we spend the day sewing.  We sit and chat and we help each other with our projects. One lady I have taught to sew and make quilts and cushions. She has now made quite a few but on the odd occasion she needs some advice. 

I am the one who can do it and I just get on with it. Not today though – everything went wrong. I ruined a t-shirt I was taking in and my sewing machine broke down a few times. It got to lunch time and by then I had given up. I am usually a person who never gives up. 

Today though I have totally lost my mojo. It’s been parcelled up and sent to someone who can us it more wisely than me. 

It even took me a few attempts at my drawing today. 

I don’t know why I feel like that because I should be happy I have lost weight 2 days in a row. That hasn’t happened for so long that I couldn’t believe it when I got on the scales. 

Eventhough I have lost my mojo my willpower has still remained. Which is amazing as normally when I feel like that I eat for comfort. Today though I stayed strong and stuck to my healthy eating plan. 

So if you have got my mojo please send it back. Hopefully I will have it again tomorrow. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 6.6lbs.  0.4lbs⬇️.  68.4lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

104.6kg.       0.2kg⬇️.       31.9kg⬇️total

Day 232

Friday 19th August 2016

I find that there are lots of things that really keep me motivated to succeed. It’s really good to have a family who are supportive. It’s also good to have friends who are there for me too. Jenny, my nutritionist, has been really good at keeping me motivated.

I think without that support I am not sure I would have ever continued for so long. 

One other thing that is helping with my motivation is this blog/diary. I find the fact that I have to sit, write and draw a picture everyday is really beneficial to me. 

It gets me noticing things that I might never have noticed. It gets me thinking about all the positive things I am doing. It keeps me focused in the right direction. But most of all it keeps me motivated.

Somedays I struggle to know what to draw, somedays I draw the same things many times to get the picture right and somedays are easy. 


It was Matt’s idea for me to write a diary everyday. As I am better at drawing than writing I thought I would draw it instead. 

It has been good for me because if I have a low day or need some encouragement I just look back at my drawings and remember how I felt when I drew it. 

I have only ever done it for my own benefit, however, knowing that I am encouraging others is an added bonus. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8.4lbs. ⬅️➡️. 66.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.4kg. ⬅️➡️.     31.9kg⬇️total

Day 9

Saturday 9th January 2016

Still really hungry so the drawings continued.

Went for my first walk around the block. It works out at 1.9 miles to get all the way around. At the end of the walk there is a steep hill I found it really hard, but I did it ….eventually.

My weight went up today which got me very

21st 1.9lbs    0.7lbs⬆️   3lbs ⬇️total     😁