Day 238

Thursday 25th August 2016

About 6 years ago we were on a family holiday to Canada. While we were there we went up the CN Tower in Toronto. I am ok with heights if I have something to hold onto. 

When at the top of the CN Tower there was this floor made of glass and you could see all the way to the ground. I could not walk on the glass – it made me very nervous to look through it. 

I held onto the edge so tight and walked with my feet as close to the edge as I could. All the people around thought I was funny. This one guy, who I had never met, got me and pushed me into the centre of the glass I screamed really loud and everybody else laughed. 

I have that same nervous feeling if standing on the edge of a cliff. 

I can’t stand too close to the edge because I am afraid I am going to fall over the edge.

This morning when I woke up I was really nervous and on edge. I felt like I was standing on the edge of that cliff. 

The reason I was nervous today was because the GCSE results are in. My eldest son has worked really hard to get good marks and today we would finally see how well he had done. 

He, however, was really calm – it was just me who was the nervous wreck. I really didn’t have to worry though because he did really well and got into the sixth form of his choice. 

That nervous feeling can really mess things up for the day. It made me feel nauseous and sick which meant that I didn’t feel hungry at all but at the same time I felt that I wanted to eat. 

I think in the past I would have eaten anything in sight. It was comfort eating anything to make me feel better and take my mind off the nerves. Today I had to sit and endure it. 

After he got his results I had instant relief and then the tiredness kicked in. I was extremely tired then for the rest of the day. A lot more than normal. 

Nerves can do so much to mess up your routine. It took a lot to stay focused today.  I did but those nerves have a lot to answer for!

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.     67lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.2kg.       0.1kg⬆️.      31.3kg⬇️total


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