Day 329

Thursday 24th November 2016

It’s that time of year again when I need to start thinking about Christmas. Which means that I need to start doing my Christmas shopping.

I have always liked shopping but it’s so much easier shopping for yourself – at least I know I will like it!

But when it comes to shopping for other people, that’s a totally different ball game. It usually takes me 3 times as long and I get tired very quickly. 

There was one shop I noticed today and I made a comment to my Mum that I used to always shop in there. It was a plus size clothes shop. 

I then realised that not only did I always shop there, but earlier this year, as my weight started to come down, I struggled to stop shopping there. 

It was like my head was saying I still needed to be wearing plus size clothes, but my body didn’t fit them anymore. 

I have been a plus size most of my life. It was hard to change my thinking. I couldn’t believe that I could get into regular sized clothes. 

Today though, seeing that shop has made me think that I have stopped believing I need those clothes anymore. I have stopped thinking I am a plus size. 

I don’t know when the change came but I am glad because it has made me realise that I am becoming more ‘normal’ and I don’t see myself as being as large anymore.


Day 243

Tuesday 30th August  2016

I find shopping for food I can eat is becoming a lot easier. Most of the food I buy is fresh so that is easy.  I know what meat and vegetables to pick now organic is better. 

I have now changed the way I make certain things. I am getting I nice collection of healthy recipes now. 

But when it comes to reading packets it has taken me a little longer to grasp. I have to keep asking Jenny what to look for. 

This is what she says-

When looking at food labels for carbohydrate levels you want to look at the 100g as that gives you an equal comparison to other foods

On this example ideally the carbohydrate level needs to be under 60g per 100g for a reasonable level of energy from carbohydrate based food, which I would call a starchy carb

Look at the sugar levels underneath, aiming for no more than 20%, so this example is 3.8g of 45g, so that’s good at about 10%.

Then with the fibre -this level helps to reduce the impacts of the sugar, so the higher the better!  This level is quite low at 2.8g compared to 45g of carbohydrates.  As a comparison spinach has 3.6g of carbohydrate per 100g, of which 2.6g of that is fibre – superfood!! 

Finally the protein levels – so if over 3g this has a reasonable level of protein so would use this protein element as the main element of the meal. As an example eggs are 10grams of protein per 100g and fish is 22g. Ideally you need 1g of protein per kg of your muscle mass, 

So Debbie has approx 50kg of muscle mass, the 3 meals per day will equal a total of 50grams of protein per day, which is approx 16-18grams of protein per meal. 

In summary you’re ideally looking for mid carb, less than 60g per 100g, with low sugars and high fibre, >5g is good. 

Or high fat, over 20g per 100g, low carb = low sugars & fibre. 

Or then high protein, over 10g per 100g, low carb sugar, fibre. 

The trick is to pick one main macronutrients, carb, fat or protein as the main element of each meal and accompany with greens salad/leafs (leafy carb) = low carb and high fibre foods.. 

This concept has helped me a lot, it has been one of the guides I follow when buying food. However, I do find myself still asking Jenny if it’s ok. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 8.2lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.   66.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105.3kg.    0.1kg⬆️.        31.3kg⬇️total

Day 218

Friday 5th August 2016

I said a few months back that I was finding it weird going in regular shops to buy clothes and how I still found myself going in the plus size shops instead.

Now though I realise that I haven’t been shopping in a plus size shop for a long time. I think that transition has happened naturally. 

I find now that I go in regular shops with regular sizes but I find I don’t know what size to choose I know that I don’t pick anything larger than a 16 or lower than a 14 but I can’t look and say that will fit and buy it. My mum shops that way and they always fit. I have to say I used to do that too. I find now that I physically have to go into the changing room and try it on. 

While in there I always seem to worry that it’s going to be to tight and I end up splitting a seam or something. 

In the past I have tried on clothes that are too tight and I end up getting stuck in a funny position and someone having to help me out of it. Fortunately every time it has happened my mum has been there and come to my rescue!

I have to admit that I have also ripped a seam before or I think I have as while taking off the garment I heard that dreaded noise as if I had ripped something but I’m usually too scared to look and check. I just hang it back on the hanger and leave the shop. You probably  think I am such a terrible person now!

While trying on clothes today I half expected it to happen again but no. I ended up buying a smaller size.

Trying on clothes has never really been an enjoyable experience for me. I have always bought clothes that fit but don’t have too much style or a nice shape to them. 

I find now that I can buy clothes that are a bit more stylish and have a nicer shape. Clothes that can actually go in a little at the waist. These new styles and shapes are making me enjoy the experience a lot more. However it will mean that Matt will start worrying more over our bank balance too. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7lbs      1.2lbs⬇️.      68lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

104.8kg.     0.5kg⬇️.        32.2kg⬇️total

Day 199

Sunday 17th July 2016

It is so nice not to be living out of the boot of the car anymore. As we came to France by car it meant that I could pack my scales. Today I had my first weigh in since Wednesday. 

Over the last few days I have tried really hard. It has be difficult because I knew that we would be stopping at many service stations on our way down. I managed to eat my food that I brought with me for a few days but when that ran out I had to buy from the service station. I managed to buy some ham, nuts and fruit. It meant I had a lot of protein but there really wasn’t much else to eat. There wasn’t a salad in sight. 

I found myself going quite hungry over those few days. That’s why this morning when I found that I had put a pound back on again. I was really quite upset – it is a major struggle to lose any weight at the minute. So to put it on got to me. 

I am however glad I took my scales because I didn’t realise what that food did to me and now I can correct the situation. 

Today we went to the supermarket and I managed to get the foods I can eat. 

I may not have been able to read what it was but I think we did OK and today I have had very healthy meals again. I am feeling a lot happier now. I am going to forget the past few days and just carry on from now. 

I have been worried that I might lose my motivation on holiday. These bad few days has helped me get it back. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 12.2lbs.    1lbs⬆️.      62.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

107.1kg.          0.4kg⬆️.      28.6kg⬇️total


Day 159

Tuesday 7th June 2016

I find that my clothes are getting too big again for me. I don’t really have any smaller clothes so I have needed to go and get some more. 

I must be the only female alive who doesn’t like clothes shopping. I have always wanted to buy clothes – it’s just I have never enjoyed the experience. I would buy anything that would fit regardless of whether it looked any good or not.

Last year when I went shopping for clothes I would walk past all the regular shops as I could only fit in clothes from the plus size shops. 

It is a good feeling knowing that I can buy clothes from a regular shop now. Yesterday I went clothes shopping and guess what I did?

I walked past all the regular shops and went to the plus size shops instead. I don’t know why I did it, it’s probably habit but I still have this thing in my head saying you still can’t fit in that. 

Jenny has told me I need to go into a regular shop and try something on. Today I did just that and came out with a few tops. I was very happy. 

I think it will take a while to sink in. Every time I have walked in clothes shops in the past I think that people are looking at me saying to themselves “what are you doing, nothing in here is ever going to fit you”

I still felt a bit like that today but this time things did fit. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

17st 2.8lbs.    0.2lbs⬇️.     58.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

109.2kg.        0.1 kg⬇️.      27.4kg⬇️total