Day 182

Thursday 30th June 2016

Every other Thursday I attend a ladies group, we sit, drink tea and chat, there is usually a theme. Today we spoke on a very well known story in the bible – David and Goliath. 

David was a boy who worked in the fields and Goliath was a giant who fought on the battle field. Goliath had never lost a fight and he challenged David’s people to a fight. David was the only one brave enough to fight Goliath. He put his trust in God to defeat him. He picked up 5 stones put one in his sling shot and hit Goliath right between the eyes. Then David killed him. 

We then talked about our own personal Giants and how we can overcome them.

I am 5’9″ I would say I am quite tall for a woman. I used to say when I was 4 and half stone heavier that I am tall both ways standing up and also when I was lying down ( because my stomach was so big). 

If you think of a giant they are so much bigger than you are. To defeat one seems very overwhelming. I have found though that this year I am overcoming my own personal Giants. The Giants in my head. 

There was a theme that emerged today. As well as the talk in the morning about Giants there was also a song that came on the radio today called ‘Every giant will fall’ by Rend Collective. Sometime later there was also a program on the radio about Giants. 

I think God is trying to tell me something – that I need to keep fighting those Giants and eventually they fall and I succeed. 

Little messages like this show me I can do it and that I will overcome.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13lbs.     0.2lbs⬇️ .    62lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.5kg.      0.1kg⬇️.       29.3kg⬇️total


Day 181

Wednesday 29th June 2016

I went to see Jenny again today, I haven’t seen her for about 10 days. I lost 1 pound and put on a pound of muscle. I thought I wouldn’t lose any so I am really happy with that result. 

I told her today that I always get stuck at this weight. I have dieted twice in the past 10 years and both times I could only get down to the weight I am now. 

She said that this weight must be what she calls “set point”. 

It sounded like I was playing tennis. She said it’s just like tennis but it’s my weight that is going back and forth and not the ball. 

Before, when I got to this weight, I would try really hard for a while.  When no weight came off I got frustrated and gave up trying. 

The difference this time is that I now have Jenny. I get on her scales and it tells me what is going on inside and I don’t get frustrated. This time does seem to be different.  I don’t seem to be too bothered and I definitely don’t want to quit. 

Jenny says to carry on doing what I am doing and it will eventually come off. Consistency is the key. I am very used to my diet so I really don’t have a problem with that.

I am happy with my size at the minute, thinner though would be nice but if this is all I get for a while I am happy with it as I am so much better than I was. 

I will still keep doing what I am doing and if I lose more weight that will be a bonus.  

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.2lbs.   0.2lbs⬇️ .  61.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.6kg.       0.1kg⬇️.      29.2kg⬇️total

Day 180

Tuesday 28th June 2016

I love bread, or should I say I used to. I haven’t eaten it for a long time.  However, the other day I had a bite just to see if I would like it.  It was ok but not as good as I remembered. 

I don’t eat any wheat at all now.  I have replaced it with rye and oats instead. 

In January Jenny said I could eat rye bread and I have to say I really did rely on it at first.  I felt like it was my only treat.  I have now gradually weaned my way off it though. When I do have it, it is on a very rare occasion.

Since coming off the rye bread I started eating oats. I have Simply Oat granola cereal for breakfast and I have been eating oat cakes after my meals. 

For the last 2 weeks I have been going up and down the the same pound. I have found it very frustrating. So about a week ago I thought that I would cut down on the amount of oats I am eating. 

I had started to rely on the oats a little which is why I have made the decision to cut them down.

I was hoping that by doing this I would lose a bit more weight. But no, it hasn’t worked. Maybe I need to try harder. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.4lbs.     ⬅️➡️.    . 61.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.7kg.            ⬅️➡️.       29.1kg⬇️total

Day 179

Monday 27th June 2016

Today I have found out that I have some very big shoes to fill. 

I have always loved shoes, one of my favourite childhood memories is my sister and I trying on my Mum’s shoes – we couldn’t walk in them but we felt so grown up wearing them. My sister’s first word was shoes. 

As an adult my love for shoes hasn’t gone away. I love them now for a totally different reason though, it’s because you can always walk in a shoe shop and something will generally fit you. 

I don’t need to feel embarrassed, I don’t feel people are looking at me because shoes in my size always fit. That is why I love shoes.

I have always thought that your shoe size doesn’t change when you get to be an adult. Once an 8 always an 8.

Today I needed some new shoes so I chose a pair of enclosed slip on shoes. I asked for them in a size 8 but they were really big! So then I tried on a 7, they were also big, so I ended up leaving with a 6…

2 shoe sizes ! I can’t believe I have gone down 2 sizes, I already have new clothes to buy, I wasn’t banking on the fact that I would need new shoes too. 

I think I can get over this very quickly; not sure Matt will when he sees the bank balance though. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.4lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.   61.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.7kg.          0.1kg⬆️.     29.1kg⬇️total

Day 178

Sunday 26th June 2016

I have never really thought that I was a secretive person. I am an open book.  I have always said exactly what I think. That however, can get you into a lot of trouble sometimes and, I can assure you with me, it has. I tend to speak before I think and then I regret it later.

I am finding this year, with the journey I am on, I am finding a lot of things out about myself. Some things I have kept hidden for years and not told a soul. 

This is the first time I have been on a diet and written a diary (this blog) – it has helped me in so many ways. 

I am finding new things out about myself every day. I am also finding that confessing all my insecurities is really helping me to overcome them. 

I never really realised before how many issues about myself I actually had until I started doing this diary. 

I just thought that I was eating healthier and losing weight. But this journey has been so much more than that – it really has been a road of self discovery. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.2lbs.      ⬅️➡️.      61.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.6kg.            ⬅️➡️.       29.2kg⬇️total

Day 177

Saturday 25th June 2016

Today I got in the car and travelled for about 2 hours on the motorway. Always when I go on a journey I would bring a bag  full of snacks. I always want to be prepared. Snacks keep the kids quiet on a journey and I would eat them because I was bored. 

I never really ate my meals before and I would say my life was one big snack. 

Since I have been sorting out my metabolic balance I have cut down on snacks. Basically I don’t even have one. 

Getting rid of all snacks has been the hardest thing to do. I have coped with changing to healthier foods but not eating between my meals has been very difficult to overcome. 

I now eat a meal and then I eat nothing for at least 5 hours. I am used to it now but at first I found it very frustrating that I couldn’t even pop a sweet in my mouth, not even a cough sweet to sooth my throat.

I can’t believe how much I relied on snacks before. If I think about it now I couldn’t go anywhere without taking some kind of snack with me. I think they became my crutch. 

I find it hard all the time to prepare meals everyday at the moment, so I would occasionally have what I would call a snack meal. I will still stick to the 8 rules though. My snack meal would normally consist of pumpkin seeds, granola cereal and almond milk. I know it’s probably not what I should have in place of a meal but it is one of those things that helps me if I am getting fed up. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.2lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.  . 61.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.6kg.         0.1kg⬆️     29.2kg⬇️total

Day 176

Friday 24th June 2016

It is the start of British summer time. I like the summer, all the flowers are in bloom. The weather is generally better and warmer, all the crops are growing in the fields and the barbecues are all out. Everything is generally better when summer comes. 

However, for me eventhough I love all those things, there is one thing that has always made summertime really miserable.

I get really bad hayfever. I have had it for years, it is roasting outside but I have to keep all the windows closed so the pollen doesn’t get in to aggravate me, I usually get so tired  that I can’t do much. 

One thing I have noticed this year is that my hayfever has been a lot better. I have however had a few bad moments of all the normal symptoms but nothing as bad as I have had in previous years. 

I would normally take a tablet, use eye drops and  beconase nasal spray everyday. This year though I have used them but not as often. 

My only explanation is the healthy eating. I am finding since I have been getting my metabolic balance back in balance, a whole load of health conditions and ailments have improved. Which is a big bonus. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13lbs.     ⬅️➡️.    . 62 lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.5kg.         ⬅️➡️.      29.3kg⬇️total

Day 175

Thursday 23rd June 2016

I think motivation can come from many different experiences.  

On January 1st (day 1) I was not very motivated at all.  I didn’t really believe that I would do very well. When the scales went down for the first time I all of a sudden became really motivated. 

I think motivation comes from how much you really want it and belief that you can do it.  So when I saw the scales go down for the first time I knew then that I really wanted it and I did believe that I could do it. 

The more the weight has been coming down the less self motivated I have become because my desire to lose weight has reduced. I think it’s because I am over half way to my goal. 

I find now that my motivation is coming from all the support I am getting. I know yesterday I said that when I get a compliment I found it hard to believe. However I do find that without the compliments I don’t think I could get as motivated. 

You are all my coxswain sitting at the front of the boat encouraging me to continue. 

So I just want to say thank you to all of you who are supporting me, encouraging me and believing in me. 


Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13lbs.        0.4lbs⬇️. 62 lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.5kg.          0.2kg⬇️.    29.3kg⬇️total

Day 174

Wednesday 22nd June 2016

I find that when you lose weight it can mess with your mind. 

I am finding that I am getting lots of complements at the minute from lots of different people. People are saying that I am doing well, I am looking amazing. I hear it but I don’t actually believe it. 

My mind is like a jigsaw and I am gradually putting the pieces back into place

Up until  now my mind has been in a muddle. 

I find that I am my own worst critic, I know I have been eating healthier, feeling healthier, losing weight, looking better. Even though I know this I don’t believe it. 

On one hand I think I have done really well but on the other I haven’t. 

Matt keeps saying he is proud of me but I am not proud of myself. Matt says I have done really well – I say that it had to be done. Matt says I am looking so much better – I say I just look ok. 

Even though I see proof of a huge improvement. I would rather believe the doubt in my mind than the truth in my eyes. 

I will try and work on believing what people say, on the compliments I am getting and in the fact that I am doing well. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.4lbs.    0.2lbs⬇️.     61.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.7kg.        0.1kg⬇️.         29.1kg⬇️total

Day 173

Tuesday 21st June 2016

I have always thought that every time you lose 10lbs you will drop a dress size. 

My weight has not really been going down much lately. Every time I have gone on a diet in the past there comes a point where I stop and I don’t lose anymore weight. I have tried and tried and tried but I can never seem get under 17 stone. 

As I am now at that weight I am finding that nothing has changed and I am again stuck.

In the past I have let this bother me, but this time I haven’t really noticed. I am finding  that even though the scales are not going down my dress size is. 

Last time I went shopping I was buying size 16 now they are to big again and I am fitting in size 14

I have always said that size 14 is a nice size to be. I can’t believe that I can start buying them.

I, however, think that this can’t be true, the clothes must be labelled up wrong. 

It’s funny, when I was bigger I saw myself smaller now that I am smaller I am seeing myself bigger. I can’t seem to make the connection that I am actually smaller. 

My stomach is still really big, and so are my arms, my double chin is going down but it is still there. So even though I have started to get into a size 14 I have a long way to go. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 13.6lbs.     ⬅️➡️.     61.4lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.8kg.            ⬅️➡️.      29kg⬇️total