Day 50

Friday 19th February 2016

Kept myself busy, I did some more drawings to keep me occupied.


Each day seems to be blurring into the next, there is nothing I can say that is really exciting about my days at the moment. I am getting really bored.

19st 10lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.      23lbs ⬇️total 😴💤


Day 40

Tuesday 9th February 2016

Day 13 of detox

Today is day 40. It is said that if you do something for 40 days it becomes a habit. Hope that is true, time will tell I suppose.

It is also Shrove Tuesday which means tomorrow 40 days of lent starts, I don’t have anything left to give up for lent.

Jenny the nutritionist told me that she wanted me to carry on this phase for a bit longer. I felt the light at the end of the tunnel had gone out.

I got so upset, the end in sight was what was keeping me going. Don’t think I can do this any more.

As it was pancake day, the kids had pancakes for tea and because I was so emotional it got to me a little more than usual.

19st  13.8lbs.     0.2lbs⬇️.      19.2lbs⬇️total😣

Day 36

Friday 5th February 2016

Day 9 of detox

I don’t mind so much what I am eating any more. I kind of have this attitude that it doesn’t matter what it tastes like going in, it’s what it does on the inside that counts. I don’t seem to crave sweet things any more either.

I did go to M&S food and it bothered me a little.

Still feeling shaky, I am amazed how I can survive for so long on so few calories it must be the quality and not the quantity that counts.

20st 1.1lbs.   0.7lbs⬇️.     17.9lbs⬇️total

Day 35

Thursday 4th February 2016

Day 8 of detox

The detox is going well, I haven’t wavered once I am coping OK. Still slightly shaky though.

I seem to be having an emotional battle with myself, people were saying I was looking thinner, I am not sure I could see it myself though. I couldn’t believe all my hard work was working.

I think time will tell.

20st 1.8lbs.    1.1lbs⬇️.     17.2lbs⬇️total 😑

Day 31

Sunday 31st January 2016

Day 4 of detox

I am still eating food I don’t like, but I am going to persevere with it in the hope that I do get to like it.

By late morning I got very giddy and shaky and I couldn’t shake it off, not even after lunch. I was so bad at lunch time that I cried my way through it. I just couldn’t cope any more.

Had to go to bed in the afternoon but I was really struggling. I got to the stage where I wanted to quit I thought I would tell Jenny the nutritionist so I called her.

She said that I am doing really well and to keep going and that what I am feeling is natural because at the minute all the glucose is coming out of my liver and the shakes are like me going through cold turkey. She said tomorrow would be better.

So I didn’t quit.

After dinner a was a little better.

20st 3.7lbs.    1lb⬇️.     15.3lbs⬇️total😫😂😭

Day 29

Friday 29th January 2016

Day 2 of detox, I had a choice today I could eat veg all day, fruit all day or potatoes all day. I stupidly picked potatoes. I love them and I thought that they would fill me up more than the other choices.

How wrong was I. Potatoes with no oil on are really disgusting.

I went out for the day packed lunch in hand. By the time I ate my lunch they were cold. Cold potatoes were even worse.

When evening came around I couldn’t cope any more I had a major meltdown.

I was ready to quit it all. I just thought that I didn’t want to be thin and miserable, but fat and happy.

All I knew is that I couldn’t eat another potato. So I cheated and ate eggs instead. I will be allowed eggs tomorrow anyway. Even though I cheated I didn’t feel it was bad, it’s not like I ate a big chocolate cake.

20st  5.9lbs.   2.2lbs⬇️.   13.1lbs ⬇️total😫

Day 28

Thursday 28th January 2016

Today was the first day of the detox that the nutritionist gave me. I had a bad stomach until tea time so it didn’t really bother me at all.

I ate fruit at meal times and I had to eat nothing in between for 5 hours.

Breakfast x 3 bananas

Lunch x 3 apples

Dinner x 1 whole melon

By the evening  I couldn’t really concentrate. I ended up going to bed early because I was so hungry.

20st 8.1lbs.    0.2lbs⬆️.   7..9lbs⬇️total 😟🍌🍌🍌🍏🍎🍏🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

Day 26

Tuesday 26th January 2016

I think I must have overdone it yesterday as I don’t feel as good today.

I am feeling deflated because it’s getting really hard. Even though I don’t feel hungry, I really want a good pig out just so my stomach feels full.

Went for a swim instead.

20st 8.8lbs.   1.1lbs⬆️.   10.2lbs⬇️total.  😔

Day 24

Sunday 24th January 2016

I am really happy that the weight is going down every day, however I am starting to find it really hard.

I am still eating within my calorie allowance given from My Fitness Pal but the longer it goes on the hungrier I am getting. It’s better than yesterday though.

Went swimming today.

20st 7.5lbs.   1.5lbs ⬇️      11.5lbs ⬇️total😋🎂🍰

Day 23

Saturday 23rd January 2016

The weight keeps coming off which I am really happy about. However today was a real struggle.

Matt and all the kids went out to watch the rugby today and left me in the house on my own. Usually I would think it was great a bit of peace and quiet, but today I needed them to keep my mind occupied because I felt really hungry. Instead I was very bored which I am sure added to the hunger.

By the end of the day even after dinner there was nothing that could get rid of my hunger at all except eat loads and I wasn’t going to do that. I got to the stage where I just couldn’t cope any more.

I went to bed hungry

No exercise today.

20st 9lbs.    0.9 lbs ⬇️.    10lbs⬇️total 😋🎂🍟🍔🍕🍨🍰🍩🍪