6th – 12th August 2017
In some stages of my life I have suffered with depression. It has usually been when I have tried to lose weight and failed.
Depression is something that comes on so gradually that you hardly notice you’re getting it. Once it has got hold of you it’s like you still don’t notice that you have it – it’s the people around you that notice and they are the ones that suffer.
For me, when I had it, I didn’t want to do anything. I would sit on the sofa all day and do nothing other than watch films. Jobs that needed to be done around the house just didn’t get done because I couldn’t be bothered. Any slight little issue that cropped up I just couldn’t deal with it, I would end up in tears not knowing how to sort it out. It usually meant that Matt sorted it out for me. My kids have learnt to become very domesticated, which is great now, but I am sure at the time it wasn’t fair on them.
This may sound really stupid but depression was a place, at the time, I think I was happy to be in while I was living it and I didn’t have the desire to leave. Thankfully, now I am not there anymore, I see it as a place I do not want to go back to.
Over the last 18 months I feel I have found a remedy – it’s called exercise. If I think back some of my most happiest times is when I have been doing exercises. Training for my half marathon in Rwanda was one of the hardest things physically I have had to do, but mentally it was a release from all that negativity in my life. It also gave me purpose – something to aim for.
We have been very lucky because we have room in our house for a gym. It is a place I have been a lot over the past 18 months. However over the past 2 months we have decided to renovate our house and our gym is no more. Well that is until the work is completed.
I have not done too much exercise since coming back from Rwanda. Partly because we have been away a lot and partly because we have no gym.
I do like exercising outdoors but I like to go with other people. But the days I plan to go it always seems to be raining.
I have to admit that over the last few weeks I have been getting slightly down. It can only be the lack of exercise. This week though I have tried to be a bit more proactive and get myself back out there.
I have managed to do a few bike rides and some walks. I have not started the running back up but I will soon. I have to say it’s worked and cheered me up no end. That’s probably because the weather has been nice as well.
So I never thought I would ever say this but I can’t wait for the gym to be finished so I can start running again and not have to go out in the rain!