12th – 18th February 2018
Sometimes I find it hard to remember how I use to be. I feel I have been going down this journey for so long now that I can’t believe how I was.
I do remember though that I let things get to me really easily – it didn’t seem to take much to tip me over the edge and for me to feel like I couldn’t cope. I think it must have been all that excess weight on my brain!!
To have a sudden change in my schedule or finding that I had extra things I had to do would cause me to have a mini meltdown and it usually resulted in Matt sorting me out.
Matt would on occasion have to go away on trips and that was always a particularly bad time emotionally for me and it would usually consist of me collapsing in a heap when he got back.
I have been wondering how I would cope now with all those things. Well this week it has really been put to the test.
Matt has been away this week leaving me with the kids at home. That always means I have to add a lot more to my schedule. I have been prepared for this one so I feel I have coped with it very well.
However this week I have had so many unexpected things fall on my lap, things that have also added to my schedule and giving me so much more to do.
It was also my birthday this week too so I got to go out a lot more.
So this week I don’t know if I am coming or going. I feel I have been pulled this way and then that way. My head is going through a whirlwind of emotions not knowing which way to go next.
If this was a couple of years ago I think I would have had a total meltdown by now.
This time though I have embraced it, got on with the job at hand and actually enjoyed the experience.
I have even managed to stay on schedule with my running/walking this month. I have now reached 31 miles only another 19 to go.
The only negative I am getting out of this is that I am a little more tired than normal but I can totally cope with that.