Year 3 week 7

12th – 18th February 2018

Sometimes I find it hard to remember how I use to be. I feel I have been going down this journey for so long now that I can’t believe how I was.

I do remember though that I let things get to me really easily – it didn’t seem to take much to tip me over the edge and for me to feel like I couldn’t cope. I think it must have been all that excess weight on my brain!!

To have a sudden change in my schedule or finding that I had extra things I had to do would cause me to have a mini meltdown and it usually resulted in Matt sorting me out.

Matt would on occasion have to go away on trips and that was always a particularly bad time emotionally for me and it would usually consist of me collapsing in a heap when he got back.

I have been wondering how I would cope now with all those things. Well this week it has really been put to the test.

Matt has been away this week leaving me with the kids at home. That always means I have to add a lot more to my schedule. I have been prepared for this one so I feel I have coped with it very well.

However this week I have had so many unexpected things fall on my lap, things that have also added to my schedule and giving me so much more to do.

It was also my birthday this week too so I got to go out a lot more.

So this week I don’t know if I am coming or going. I feel I have been pulled this way and then that way. My head is going through a whirlwind of emotions not knowing which way to go next.

If this was a couple of years ago I think I would have had a total meltdown by now.

This time though I have embraced it, got on with the job at hand and actually enjoyed the experience.

I have even managed to stay on schedule with my running/walking this month. I have now reached 31 miles only another 19 to go.

The only negative I am getting out of this is that I am a little more tired than normal but I can totally cope with that.

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Day 262

Sunday 18th September 2016

When I first started at the beginning of the year my goal was to lose 70lbs (5 stone) by October. It seemed impossible – I thought I wasn’t going to do it. It just seemed so far for me to see that far ahead.

At first the weight came off really quickly. I lost the first 4 stone in 4 and a half months. It has taken 4 months for the last stone. It has been a struggle at every step. But today I did it – I actually got to the 70lbs down mark.

In recent weeks I have been so close but I have often thought that I was never going to get there. I couldn’t believe it when I got on the scales this morning  and I had reached my goal. 

I actually got quite emotional and the tears were filling my eyes. I found myself crying at random times – I just couldn’t contain my emotions. 

This had been something I had worked all year for and today I actually succeeded. I think when you try so hard for something and eventually you get it I think I couldn’t help but be emotional. 

I have been taking comparison photos at every stone I lose. It has been 4 months since the last one. 

20th January / 18th September

It was very hard taking the first photo. Now though I am glad I did because it shows me where I have come from and the improvements I have made. 

Eventhough my overall goal was to lose 70lbs by October it quickly changed to 100lbs by the end of the year. So I still have a long way to go and a lot more hard work ahead. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 5lbs.        0.5lbs⬇️.     70lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

103.9kg.         0.2kg⬇️.     32.6kg⬇️total

Day 40

Tuesday 9th February 2016

Day 13 of detox

Today is day 40. It is said that if you do something for 40 days it becomes a habit. Hope that is true, time will tell I suppose.

It is also Shrove Tuesday which means tomorrow 40 days of lent starts, I don’t have anything left to give up for lent.

Jenny the nutritionist told me that she wanted me to carry on this phase for a bit longer. I felt the light at the end of the tunnel had gone out.

I got so upset, the end in sight was what was keeping me going. Don’t think I can do this any more.

As it was pancake day, the kids had pancakes for tea and because I was so emotional it got to me a little more than usual.

19st  13.8lbs.     0.2lbs⬇️.      19.2lbs⬇️total😣

Day 35

Thursday 4th February 2016

Day 8 of detox

The detox is going well, I haven’t wavered once I am coping OK. Still slightly shaky though.

I seem to be having an emotional battle with myself, people were saying I was looking thinner, I am not sure I could see it myself though. I couldn’t believe all my hard work was working.

I think time will tell.

20st 1.8lbs.    1.1lbs⬇️.     17.2lbs⬇️total 😑