Sometimes I find it hard to remember how I use to be. I feel I have been going down this journey for so long now that I can’t believe how I was.
I do remember though that I let things get to me really easily – it didn’t seem to take much to tip me over the edge and for me to feel like I couldn’t cope. I think it must have been all that excess weight on my brain!!
To have a sudden change in my schedule or finding that I had extra things I had to do would cause me to have a mini meltdown and it usually resulted in Matt sorting me out.
Matt would on occasion have to go away on trips and that was always a particularly bad time emotionally for me and it would usually consist of me collapsing in a heap when he got back.
I have been wondering how I would cope now with all those things. Well this week it has really been put to the test.
Matt has been away this week leaving me with the kids at home. That always means I have to add a lot more to my schedule. I have been prepared for this one so I feel I have coped with it very well.
However this week I have had so many unexpected things fall on my lap, things that have also added to my schedule and giving me so much more to do.
It was also my birthday this week too so I got to go out a lot more.
So this week I don’t know if I am coming or going. I feel I have been pulled this way and then that way. My head is going through a whirlwind of emotions not knowing which way to go next.
If this was a couple of years ago I think I would have had a total meltdown by now.
This time though I have embraced it, got on with the job at hand and actually enjoyed the experience.
I have even managed to stay on schedule with my running/walking this month. I have now reached 31 miles only another 19 to go.
The only negative I am getting out of this is that I am a little more tired than normal but I can totally cope with that.
When I first started at the beginning of the year my goal was to lose 70lbs (5 stone) by October. It seemed impossible – I thought I wasn’t going to do it. It just seemed so far for me to see that far ahead.
At first the weight came off really quickly. I lost the first 4 stone in 4 and a half months. It has taken 4 months for the last stone. It has been a struggle at every step. But today I did it – I actually got to the 70lbs down mark.
In recent weeks I have been so close but I have often thought that I was never going to get there. I couldn’t believe it when I got on the scales this morning and I had reached my goal.
I actually got quite emotional and the tears were filling my eyes. I found myself crying at random times – I just couldn’t contain my emotions.
This had been something I had worked all year for and today I actually succeeded. I think when you try so hard for something and eventually you get it I think I couldn’t help but be emotional.
I have been taking comparison photos at every stone I lose. It has been 4 months since the last one.
It was very hard taking the first photo. Now though I am glad I did because it shows me where I have come from and the improvements I have made.
Eventhough my overall goal was to lose 70lbs by October it quickly changed to 100lbs by the end of the year. So I still have a long way to go and a lot more hard work ahead.