Year 2 week 52

24th- 31st December 2017

I can’t believe that this is my last post this year. This year has seemed to have gone so quickly and the last 2 years since I started this journey has just flown by.

The Christmas period has been quite hard for me – there has been so much food around that hasn’t helped but it has been a great time for me to relax and meet up with a lot of family and friends.

One thing I did that I have never done before is make a gingerbread house. I have always wanted to do it and I thought because I am a creative person I thought I might be quite good at it .

I had a picture in my head of how I wanted my gingerbread house to look.

However, in reality my gingerbread house looked so much different to that. I bought a pack and I thought I would start there. I naively thought that the gingerbread was in there and I just had to make into the house, but no. I physically had to make the mixture and bake it too.

Once it had cooled then came the part of making it look like a house. It was a lot harder than I thought. I ended up with it falling down a few times, the icing ran all over the place. By the time we had finished I think it looked more like a rickety old shack rather than a grand house that I imagined.

I would have shown a photo but it was far too embarrassing to even take a picture of. My boys thought that the only thing it was good for was destroying which they took great pleasure in doing!

This scenario totally sums up my year. When I started the year I had very high expectations I was going to lose so much more weight and reach my goal by now but in reality the total opposite has happened. I haven’t lost any weight at all in fact it has gone up a little.

Last year I lost 5 and a half stone – this year I have lost nothing. It has also made me think what a waste – it made me think that I have totally wasted my year.

But if I think back on my year I have realised that I haven’t wasted it at all. Ok, so I haven’t lost any weight, but I have kept up with my healthy eating most of the time, I have managed to keep doing my exercise, I haven’t gone back into that state of feeling worthless, my confidence has grown, I can still do so much more than I ever could before.

I have been able to think of others rather than myself which has entailed me going on 2 mission trips – one to Serbia with some women and the other to Rwanda where I even managed to do something that I would never have ever dreamed.

Running that half marathon was such a huge achievement for me. I can’t believe I actually did it – it’s my greatest achievement to date. So that’s why I don’t think I wasted my year.

As I now step into 2018 and start my 3rd year of this journey I have that image of my perfect gingerbread house again but to get it that way will take a lot of hard work, determination, and overcoming things that I can’t foresee.

A bible verse was given at church today. It’s in Philippians 3 verse 13-14:

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me to.”

That’s what I am going to go by this year.

Happy new year. Have a great 2018

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Year 2 week 45

5th- 11th October 2017

Every time I try to lose weight I always do really well at first. The first few stone has always been very easy – it’s probably because I always start a diet with about 7 stone or more to lose!

After the first few stone has come off the next few are slightly more hard work but they do come off gradually. 

Usually after 5 stone has come off I stop. The weight from then on in just doesn’t want to budge. It’s like I have hit a brick wall with absolutely no way of getting around it. 

I have hit that brick wall many times before. I have tried everything to get through but that wall always seems to stay intact. The longest I have ever been there is 6 months and then I give up and ended up turning around and going back again usually putting on more weight than I ever have before. 

This time though is different I have been standing at that wall now for over a year and however hard I try I still can’t break through. 

Since my half marathon and the holidays I have been on over the summer the weight has been gradually creeping back on again – not much but enough for me to notice. I have stayed healthy with my eating but I have had a slightly more relaxed attitude. I think my portion sizes have been getting bigger and some treats were creeping back in too. 

It has got me to a point where I am standing at that wall and wondering what now. 


I feel I can’t go down this journey and gradually put the weight back on again. I have come too far.  There is only one option and that is to try harder.  It means going to the beginning again. You may be thinking that I have done that before and you would be right. 

Last time though I was doing it out of desperation. I had to because I couldn’t continue down the road I was going on. I think my determination came from my desperation to change. 

This time though I have gone back to the beginning without that desperation to change. I feel I have achieved all my goals other than getting to my ideal weight. I have so much more energy, I can go into a regular shop and there would be lots of clothes that would fit, I am eating healthier and lots more. 

Without that desperation to change I wasn’t sure if I could do it. In someways I prefer to start with the desperation because it drives you. Starting again now has been so much harder. 

I am now 10 days in my current detox and I am actually surprised with how well I have done. I have managed to lose 8 pounds in that time. I have felt a little hungry but not as much as I thought. I just hope the weight continues to fall. 

Year 2 week 44

29th October- 4th November 2017

One thing I have really struggled this year with has been motivation.

I think it’s because I achieved one of my main goals this year. One of my goals was to have enough energy to keep up with my kids. My kids are typical kids and have heaps of energy. 

Before I started this journey I couldn’t even walk up the stairs without being out of breath. 16 months later I did a half marathon! 

For me doing that half marathon in Rwanda was so amazing. It was something that I never thought I could ever do. I was so overwhelmed at the time that I did it. That to me that was my ultimate goal. I felt that there was nothing I could do any better than that. I felt that I had climbed the highest mountain and actually reached the top. 

Since then it has been hard staying motivated. The trouble with reaching your goal is that there is nothing left to aim for. Once you reach that point and you get to the top of your mountain there is only one place left to go and that’s DOWN. 

Sometimes to go down can be fun. It means that there are no restrictions on your life. It’s like I can do anything and get away with it. However you do end up with a feeling of guilt that you have let things slip so bad. 

The getting away with it can only last so long. With falling there comes a point where you hit the ground. Hitting rock bottom can be very painful and usually at that point it’s very hard to see a way out of it. 

I feel that since Rwanda that is what I have been doing – FALLING. In my mind though I didn’t want to fall I feel I protected myself from the impact – it’s like I put on my parachute so when I hit the ground it wasn’t so painful. 

This month I have set myself new goals.  I have hit the ground now but I have decided to turn around and start climbing that mountain again. 

I have decided that for the month of November I am going to concentrate on my eating again. I have already had a carb free 4 days and lost a few pounds too. I would like to continue my healthy eating throughout this month and hopefully it will give me the boost I need to continue after. 

I have also signed up for another half marathon – this time in Kenya. It’s in June of next year. I will be raising money again for the charity Compassion UK.

I think for me the fact I am doing it again isn’t quite as significant as before. What it does do though is help me to keep active, gives me something to focus on and I get to help some needy children in Africa in the process. 

I came back from doing my last half marathon thinking I would never do one again. My fitness levels have depleted so much that I feel I have signed up without the ability to succeed. Knowing this is coming hopefully will get me motivated to train.

After June next year, when I’ve completed my second half marathon, I’m hoping that I won’t fall like I did this year. Well that’s what I’m aiming for. 
 

 https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/500/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 38

17th – 23rd September 2017

Things have improved greatly – I have been able to sort out my eating and I have also managed to step up my exercise too. 

I have always thought I am quite an easy going person, I have been a person who gets on with everyone, I am not a person who would intentionally create an argument. Matt and I do argue but not really very often – it’s probably because I always let him believe he is right, when really we both know I am!

This week I had an appointment with a lady I never met before. I was recommended to go to her because she can analyse you and tell you about your health and the type of things you should be eating. 

After the brief examination she told me what she discovered. She asked me what I had for breakfast I said a green juice and some oats. She then went on to say that it sounds very healthy what I am eating but in fact it is not. She then says that I should be eating things like shepherds pie or curry for breakfast. I said I’m sorry but I’m not going to eat that for breakfast, it just seems wrong 

She said that there is someone in the family with a heart condition and I said no. Then she said TB – again I said no. She listed lots of ailments and after about 7 she got one where I agreed. 

She even told me that everything my nutritionist has told me is all wrong and I would never lose weight that way even though I had lost 5 and half stone with her. 

She carried on with her diagnosis and started to talk 3 times faster than a normal person, she was adding lots of jargon that I didn’t understand – you needed a PHD in biology to understand it. If she spoke French I think I would have understood her better! Because she spoke so fast I couldn’t get her to stop. 

After about 5 minutes and her telling me of all the things I couldn’t eat I burst into tears – I just couldn’t take it anymore. All I was hearing was I was doing it all wrong and my brain had information overload. 


You would think that because I was a little emotional she would have a little sympathy but no. I just asked her to slow it down and get rid of all the jargon. Her reply was “I am used to talking to intelligent adults and shouldn’t have to put it into baby talk!!!!”

I felt I stayed really calm even though I was emotional. She however couldn’t take it and was ready to kick me out. I don’t think she was used to people questioning her methods.

After an hour and a half of listening I said I’m sorry I don’t think I am going to do a lot of that advice because it seems to me that you have it backwards – eating your dinner at breakfast for one. 

When I left I thought about what just happened and realised I had paid for an hour and a half of constant abuse and some really bad advice.  If that was 2 years ago I would have taken everything she said to heart, not questioned a thing and been so much more emotional. 

This time when I left I just laughed and thought what a sad old lady. I talked to the person who recommended her and she said that she gave her the same advice, which to me proved it was rubbish. 

One thing positive I got out of it was that it made me realise that I know my own mind. All those questions of who I am were gone and I came out knowing myself better and being happy with the result!

Year 2 week 35

27th August – 2nd September 2017

This year seems to be going really quick and the summer is almost over. I have always loved the summer – a time to relax and wind down. 

This summer, eventhough I have relaxed and had time to unwind, I have found it really hard. I just haven’t been able to concentrate on my diet at all. I have managed to do a little exercise but nothing like I was doing before the summer started.

The kids have been off school now for over 8 weeks. It has been long enough for me to pick up some of my old bad habits. I am hoping it is also short enough to get back with my good habits quickly and easily. 

I have to admit that over the summer I have put on a little weight. It’s only half a stone but I have struggled to get it off since. 

Over the last few weeks I have been preparing to get the kids back to school. It is usually a busy and expensive time of year. There is usually lots of school uniform, shoes (4 pairs per child) and stationery to purchase. 

I am very happy to say that next week the kids go back to school, and I go back to normality.

Well I hope I can go back to normality. I have for a few weeks been craving a little bit of routine and normality. I am looking forward to getting back to my normal exercise regime too. 

I am hoping with the kids going back to school that I can get back motivated and I don’t sit and waste another 8 weeks of progress. 

Year 2 week 31

30th July – 5th August 2017

Now that I am back from my holiday and at home for a while, I thought I would take the opportunity to get myself back on track – back on track with organising healthy meals, organise my food intake, continue with my exercises and hopefully lose more weight. 

18 months ago, when I first met Jenny my nutritionist, she told me that at first the weight would come off very easy. Then I will get to a stage and it will stop. In that pause I was to maintain my weight and after a period of time has gone, to try again and see if I can lose anymore weight. 

That is exactly what has happened to me. In previous diets, that pause has been a frustration for me, it has been the part where I give up and turn back to my old habits. 

This time I am not as frustrated. It would have been nice to continuously lose weight but I haven’t. Instead of getting down about it I have just tried to continue and not really worry too much about what the scales say.

Now that I am back from my holiday I feel I can concentrate on it a bit more. I thought I would go back to basics and start from the beginning again. It meant I had to take a look at what I did all those months ago. 

Hindsight can be really good and useful but looking all the way back to the beginning, seeing what I went through, makes me wonder how I ever did it the first time. 


What I did back then was the hardest thing I have ever done. The pain and suffering I went through to change my eating habits was so immense that I don’t think I could do it again. 

My habits have changed so much and all that hunger, shakes, eating less, low energy levels, tears, eating food I didn’t like, cutting out food I did, pain and suffering were worth it. 

Looking back now, knowing how hard it was, makes it even harder for me to start again. So on this occasion hindsight isn’t good. 

However things are a little different and should possibly be easier as I am already eating less and I won’t have to eat food I don’t like anymore because I have grown to enjoy it. I will have to cut back on foods I have let creep back in and I will have to go hungry again. But it seems like nothing in comparison.

Because I’ve looked back it has made it difficult to start again, so I have decided to tweek things a little and do it slightly differently so I can’t see what’s coming.  Hopefully when I start seeing results again it will help me to continue 

Year 2 week 30

23rd- 29th July 2017

I have always loved the summer, it’s usually warmer, it’s a time to go on holiday, it’s time to relax and wind down. 

Since I have been going down this weight loss journey, and I am now half way through my second summer, I find that the summer is also the hardest. 

Summertime is when all routine is gone. I am a person who likes routine. Routine means you know what is coming and you can prepare for it.

In the summer it’s always been see where the day takes me, no particular plans. Trying to lose weight with no routine is the hardest. It’s like I can’t concentrate on my goals, I am totally lacking in focus. 

This week I have spent a few days at a conference called Focus. I was hoping, because of the name, it might help me with my focus. 

One thing that was said was “don’t think that God is invisible – his fingerprints are all over your life” 

One thing I have noticed over the past 18 months is how much help God has actually given me. How even through the hard times he has been right there by my side. 

Here I am going through another hard time. Finding it hard to stay focused on my ultimate goal. One thing, though, that I am forgetting is that God is there beside me leaving his fingerprints. I just forgot to look for them. 

Year 2 week 29

16th – 22nd July 2017

We have had a lovely 2 week holiday. We have been doing all the normal things you do on holiday. Like relaxing in the sun, exploring new places, swimming in the pool, eating in nice restaurants. 

Because we have had a normal holiday also means that the normal has happened. I have put on a few pounds. Normally when I go on holiday I put on loads of weight, I get used to eating more and when I come home I don’t change my habits back again. 

We went on holiday with a couple that we’ve become friends with this year. We met because she was doing a half marathon in Rwanda with me and her husband did the marathon. 

Three of my sons came too.  My youngest was wanting to do all these clapping games with us. You basically say a poem and clap out a routine with our hands. 

While we were doing this with my son, I remembered a time when I would do the same at school. It was all the craze in those days, you would sing a silly song and then clap out a routine with our hands. I spent so much time practicing at break time and any other opportunity I could get. I remember loving it. 

As I was telling Jake (my son) Michelle (my friend from Rwanda) commented that she did the same at school too. We thought we would try and remember it and teach Jake. 

To our surprise we remembered it really well. We remembered the words the routine and everything. Not only that, we could do it quite fast. It was like we only did it yesterday.


Jake thought it was hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing at us. We then went on to teach him. He did eventually get it after practicing for the whole 2 weeks. 

It has got me thinking. I have had 18 months of really good eating habits, 18 months of making good choices – why should I let 2 weeks of bad eating habits drag me down. 

That clapping game came back to me after not doing it for over 30 years. I should be able to get back on the healthy eating after just a 2 week break!

Day 362

Tuesday 27th December 2016

There is one person who has really helped me this year and that is Jenny my nutritionist. 

I met her in January after Matt did  research into finding a nutritionist. She had really good ratings and she was only half an hour away from my house. 

The first time I met her she said she could help me. She said I could do a healthy eating plan called a metabolic balance. It consisted of a blood test which showed what was happening on the inside. 

She told me about the 4 phases I would go through when it came to food options. She said that she lives on phase 3 all the time. 

I have to say when she told me what I had to do I didn’t think there was a chance I would do it. It seemed far too hard and I definitely didn’t think I could live on it long term. In short I didn’t really believe her. 

It started by me going to see her every week for 6 months and then fortnightly for the last 6 months of this year. 

Jenny is a person I felt I could tell anything too. She put me at ease from the very beginning. She was a person I liked straight away and because I saw her so often it wasn’t long before we became friends. 

Visiting her every week usually consisted of a weigh in, sometimes she took measurements and she also helped to improve my skin. Because she believes eating healthier is sorting things from the inside out she also thinks we need to do the same from the outside in. 

We also talked a lot, usually about how I was getting on and she gave me so much nutrition advice. I have learnt so much from her. I never really understood before what food did to your body and how your body reacts to it until this year. 

However I think all I gave her is a pain in the foot. Because it seemed like every week I would go and break a glass. It wasn’t long until a bit ended up in her foot!

The beginning half of the year was really hard but I have to say it is the best thing I have ever done and definitely the most rewarding. 

She told me in January that it would be the last diet I would ever go on. I didn’t really believe that either. 

However she is right. You may be thinking that seeing a nutritionist isn’t exactly cheap – well you would be right! But I have been to many places to lose weight before where I pay a certain amount every week and I have done that for years. I think if I added it all up Jenny would be cheaper in the long run and it all worked. 

With Jenny I also get a personal service and she is at the other end of the phone when I need her. There was one time on day 4 of the detox when she had an hysterical woman on the other end of the phone. I was ready to quit but she encouraged me to carry on and said that tomorrow would be better. She was right. 

She has been right with everything she has told me and I have done exactly what she said because, after all, I am paying for her expertise and it’s in my best interest. 

So I just want to say a big thank you to Jenny. 


Without you I would never have done so well. 

I would advice everyone whether you need to lose weight or not to see a nutritionist if you want to try look her up on http://www.meadowaesthetics.com/

because it’s the best thing I have ever done. 

Day 116

Monday 25th April 2016

The last few days I have not thought once about what I am eating. I have not thought about being healthy. I have not even thought about dieting. 

This could be really worrying but I find that the dieting and healthy eating have become a habit. 

A REALLY GOOD HABIT


I find that I don’t have to think about things so much anymore. It just normal to me now. It’s a new normal. 

The thing that does worry me though is that, because I am finding I don’t have to think about it, does that mean I won’t think about it if I slip too (not that I am planning to). I just don’t want to start getting into bad habits after all this hard work.

17st 12lbs.    ⬅️➡️.        49lbs⬇️total

113.4kg.         ⬅️➡️.     23.1kg⬇️total