Year 2 week 12

19th – 25th march 2017

I have always been a person who loves colour.  When I left school I became a hair dresser and colour plays a big part in that profession.  One of the first things you learn is how to understand the colour wheel and I have enjoyed experimenting with it ever since. 

When I am making a quilt I mix all sorts of colours together.  When I paint I love mixing colours together to see what I get. I have a rule when painting of never using black.  If I want a dark colour like black I will always mix a few colours together to make it more interesting to look at because, in my view, black is boring. 

However, when it comes to the clothes I wear I tend to default to black. I have this theory that it makes you look thinner it’s also easy to mix colours with because everything goes with it. 

Before I lost the weight I always wore black.  I don’t think I had anything in another colour. When the weight started to come off and I was buying new clothes I started adding colours that I could wear with my black. 

One thing I have struggled with since losing the weight is knowing what suits me now. Because my body shape has changed so much I can’t seem to wear the same style of clothes that I did before. 

I have a friend who is a lifestyle consultant. She assesses what suits you, helps you with colours and goes through your wardrobe to see if they are any good. So I asked for her help. 

One thing she did was get a colour lady in.  I have always wanted my colours done. It basically starts by putting lots of coloured scarfs around my neck. 

She then looks at the colour and how it reflects on my face. As she was explaining it I started to look at my face rather than the colour it’s self and I could see that some colours were brightening my face and others were making me look more washed out. 

I found it very fascinating and I feel I learnt a lot. One colour that I am not supposed to wear is black. There was me thinking that black is a good colour and it goes with everything and apparently it’s not slimming if it’s not your colour. 

We then got to my wardrobe and we went through my clothes I must have had hundreds of items that were black! I sat there watching them getting thrown in the bin. I did keep my favourite black items though. 

It sounds harsh but in some ways it was quite liberating. I didn’t seem to care that I had a lifetime of bad habits been thrown in the bin. 

My friend then sorted out the clothes I had left in colour order and then put them back in my wardrobe. I now have one wardrobe that has only my black clothes. 

Now when I look in my wardrobe I can’t seem to go to the black cupboard. It’s like a part of my past that has gone but it means that I have a brighter more colourful future. 

One thing I have noticed is that I am taking a lot more pride in my appearance. If I was only going to the shop I would normally grab the first thing I could find and put it on. Now though I find I am taking more time and asking Matt what he thinks before I go to the shop. 

I am quite enjoying my colourful wardrobe. I am also enjoying experimenting with colours for myself for a change rather than putting it just in my paintings. I have now become the canvas!

If you want to know more about this then the lifestyle consultant I used was Emiko Ray – I highly recommend her!  Find her on twitter – @EmikoCRay


Year 2 week 11

12th – 18th March 2017

I have always been a person who isn’t afraid of failing. To me failing is something to learn from, a way to improve. Failing is giving up. 

Thomas Edison made the lightbulb. For him to get to the lightbulb that actually worked he had hundreds of failed attempts. His response to those failed attempts were I now know hundreds of ways of how not to do it. The thing is he persevered and eventually succeeded. He never gave up. 

Sometimes when I draw a picture it can take me a good few attempts to get it right. I have, on quite a few occasions, been known to throw away my first attempts and try again. What I have learnt from it is that I now know a few ways of how not to do it. So I keep trying until I get it right. 

Because I am not afraid to fail it means I am not afraid to take on a challenge. One thing I have been aiming for since the middle of last year is the biggest challenge of my life. 

Last year when the weight was coming off and I could do a lot more activities I wanted to do a challenge that I would never have even attempted before I lost the weight and yesterday I signed up. 

Basically I have signed up to run a half marathon in Rwanda. It’s to raise money for a charity called Compassion. 

Compassion helps children around the world. You can sponsor a child for £25 a month and that money gives that child an opportunity to get an education which leads to a good job enabling them to be able to support their family. 

I am running to raise £10,000 to give 10 children the opportunity of a better future. 

Before I started this journey I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t think about the needs of others. Now though I feel I can and it’s helping me stay motivated on my own goals at the same time. 

However, this challenge is the first time I have ever got a fear of failing. I think it’s because there is so much at stake and the fact that I only have one shot at it. If I fail it’s not like I can try again. I would have just failed and I would feel I have let so many people down. 

I told Matt my fears and he said “at least you are failing up”.  I thought about that and I realised he was right. To fail is to not even try and I know I am doing that. 

I have however had a few setbacks. Before Christmas I could run 5 miles but I needed to have an operation because I knew I couldn’t run with all that saggy skin. So that was 6 weeks out. I then got vertigo which didn’t help and then I could finally start running again and I got the biggest blister on my toe which made my whole foot blow up like a balloon. 

This week though I managed to start my training back up again. I have ran 20 miles this week in total and now I am exhausted. I know this challenge will be hard, I know it is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am not even sure if I will finish it but I am going to try my best and if I fail at least I will know I have done my best. 

The run is in 8 weeks time so I have a lot of training to do and money to raise in a short space of time. If you would like to sponsor me, tap on the link.

Year 2 week 10

5th-11th march 2017

It has been 6 weeks since my operation. I have found I have recovered really well. 

The whole recovery process has gone really quick. It has had its painful moments but mainly it has been just uncomfortable. 

When I first left the hospital and the doctors told me I needed to wear the compression outfit for six weeks at the time I could have cried. The compression suit is the tightest thing I have ever worn. It was also very uncomfortable and you could hardly move in it. It would also rub and cause a rash in some areas. Six weeks seemed so far away. 

There was a time when I got used to wearing it. I was also told that some people are very reluctant to say goodbye to it at the end. I however wasn’t one of those people. 

Now that the six weeks are up I have to say I am very relieved. I couldn’t wait to get it and throw it in the bin. 

There is something really nice about the fact that I never have to wear it again. 

Even though it wasn’t the nicest thing to wear I can see why I had to wear it. It was to keep the swelling down and reduce the ability for my skin going back as it was again. 

I am really happy with the transformation over the last 6 weeks. My saggy skin has gone and I look and feel so much better. 

I still have some swelling on my arm and back but it will soon improve. 

One thing that I will have from now on is a scar on both arms from elbow to arm pit. Scars are usually classed as a negative thing. Something people don’t like. 

I however like mine because it shows where I have come from to get them. It’s a reminder of how much I have changed. I call them my freedom scars because for me to get them I have become free from all the emotional issues I have lived with for years and a reminder that I am never going back. 

Years 2 week 9

26th February- 4th March

For the first time since my operation I am starting to feel normal again. This week I have gone about my routine very easily. 

I have been able to do my walking again. I thought I would not handle it too well because I haven’t done it in a while but I was fine. I went at a little slower pace because I didn’t want to aggravate my arms. 

I haven’t started my running yet but I do think I can soon. 

I am really happy about getting back to normal but, if I think about it, what is normal?  I have always wanted to be a person who is the same as everyone else – someone who doesn’t stand out from the crowd a person who blends in. 

I have very often heard people being classed as peas in a pod. My sister and I are very often referred to in that way. My kids are like peas in a pod too. It’s not that they look like each other – it’s how they act, their mannerisms, the way they talk. 

I suppose, as humans,  we are all like peas  in a pod but we can all be different too and we all reflect our own unique personality. 

Before I started this journey my normal was totally different to the normal I know now.  Actually, if I think back, the normal I was living before was not really normal at all. 

Spending most of your life living with low self esteem, emotional issues, not valuing yourself, secretly eating and only focusing inwardly to me is not normal and is not really part of God’s plan, but that was my normal for many years. I am afraid to say that I discovered it is actually quite a common feeling too with others. 

My normal now though is so different and changing all the time. I suppose you could say it’s progressing and improving all the time. 

So even though I have always wanted to be a person who is normal, on reflection I am happy to be different. Perhaps we should celebrate our differences because they make life so much more interesting and varied. It would be boring if all our ‘normals’ were the same.