Year 2 week 47

19th – 25th November 2017

I am still on my detox, I feel I have been doing quite well. I have started to get really bored with it now though. Partly because the weight has stopped coming off and partly because I am sick of salad.

My exercise has not been quite as good. I think at first I didn’t do too much because I was feeling weak. This week I have managed to up my exercise a little.

I have done something I never thought I would ever see myself do – I have joined a running club. My friend has been going to this club for a while and she has been asking me to go. I have always managed to find some excuse of why not to go so it ended up that she stopped asking me.

I just didn’t want to go – it was also at night which is the time when I relax. I also felt that I would be an embarrassment – not fit enough, and I felt I would always be at the back holding people up. I don’t know what came over me though because I asked my friend if I could go with her this week. I really didn’t want to go I just knew I needed to go.

After I asked her the nerves came over me but I still went. We did an hour of circuit training first and to my surprise I could keep up and I could do most of the things that we were supposed to do.

After that came the running and I have to say all my fears disappeared as I could keep up. They did these little challenges to make it more interesting that I liked. I really enjoyed myself

I didn’t feel embarrassed at all. Well that was until I was in the middle of one of the challenges and we were to run down a cul-de-sac as fast as we could and then run back up again.

On my way down though I tripped over a kerb. I was then heading straight for someone’s front garden fence and, I don’t know how I did it, but I hurdled it and then I was then face to face with a tree that unbelievably I managed to dodge only to be faced with another fence that I also hurdled. I think that all became too much for me because I then went splat in someone else driveway!

Because I was doing quite well and I wasn’t at the back meant I also had an audience. All these people came running to see how I was. Surprisingly though I was fine other than scrapes on my hands and knees.

Everyone was so nice. People who saw me said it was a very impressive fall and was amazed I stayed on my feet for so long. Others came up to me saying how on their first week they did the same thing. My fall, in someways, helped me get to know people and it has made me want to go next week.

One thing I have always told my kids is that sometimes in life there are things that we don’t want to do but when we do it, it can end up being quite rewarding and you never know you might even enjoy it. I think this week I have said that to myself .

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Year 2 week 44

29th October- 4th November 2017

One thing I have really struggled this year with has been motivation.

I think it’s because I achieved one of my main goals this year. One of my goals was to have enough energy to keep up with my kids. My kids are typical kids and have heaps of energy. 

Before I started this journey I couldn’t even walk up the stairs without being out of breath. 16 months later I did a half marathon! 

For me doing that half marathon in Rwanda was so amazing. It was something that I never thought I could ever do. I was so overwhelmed at the time that I did it. That to me that was my ultimate goal. I felt that there was nothing I could do any better than that. I felt that I had climbed the highest mountain and actually reached the top. 

Since then it has been hard staying motivated. The trouble with reaching your goal is that there is nothing left to aim for. Once you reach that point and you get to the top of your mountain there is only one place left to go and that’s DOWN. 

Sometimes to go down can be fun. It means that there are no restrictions on your life. It’s like I can do anything and get away with it. However you do end up with a feeling of guilt that you have let things slip so bad. 

The getting away with it can only last so long. With falling there comes a point where you hit the ground. Hitting rock bottom can be very painful and usually at that point it’s very hard to see a way out of it. 

I feel that since Rwanda that is what I have been doing – FALLING. In my mind though I didn’t want to fall I feel I protected myself from the impact – it’s like I put on my parachute so when I hit the ground it wasn’t so painful. 

This month I have set myself new goals.  I have hit the ground now but I have decided to turn around and start climbing that mountain again. 

I have decided that for the month of November I am going to concentrate on my eating again. I have already had a carb free 4 days and lost a few pounds too. I would like to continue my healthy eating throughout this month and hopefully it will give me the boost I need to continue after. 

I have also signed up for another half marathon – this time in Kenya. It’s in June of next year. I will be raising money again for the charity Compassion UK.

I think for me the fact I am doing it again isn’t quite as significant as before. What it does do though is help me to keep active, gives me something to focus on and I get to help some needy children in Africa in the process. 

I came back from doing my last half marathon thinking I would never do one again. My fitness levels have depleted so much that I feel I have signed up without the ability to succeed. Knowing this is coming hopefully will get me motivated to train.

After June next year, when I’ve completed my second half marathon, I’m hoping that I won’t fall like I did this year. Well that’s what I’m aiming for. 
 

 https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/500/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 35

27th August – 2nd September 2017

This year seems to be going really quick and the summer is almost over. I have always loved the summer – a time to relax and wind down. 

This summer, eventhough I have relaxed and had time to unwind, I have found it really hard. I just haven’t been able to concentrate on my diet at all. I have managed to do a little exercise but nothing like I was doing before the summer started.

The kids have been off school now for over 8 weeks. It has been long enough for me to pick up some of my old bad habits. I am hoping it is also short enough to get back with my good habits quickly and easily. 

I have to admit that over the summer I have put on a little weight. It’s only half a stone but I have struggled to get it off since. 

Over the last few weeks I have been preparing to get the kids back to school. It is usually a busy and expensive time of year. There is usually lots of school uniform, shoes (4 pairs per child) and stationery to purchase. 

I am very happy to say that next week the kids go back to school, and I go back to normality.

Well I hope I can go back to normality. I have for a few weeks been craving a little bit of routine and normality. I am looking forward to getting back to my normal exercise regime too. 

I am hoping with the kids going back to school that I can get back motivated and I don’t sit and waste another 8 weeks of progress. 

Year 2 week 32

6th – 12th August 2017

In some stages of my life I have suffered with depression. It has usually been when I have tried to lose weight and failed. 

Depression is something that comes on so gradually that you hardly notice you’re getting it. Once it has got hold of you it’s like  you still don’t notice that you have it – it’s the people around you that notice and they are the ones that suffer. 

For me, when I had it, I didn’t want to do anything. I would sit on the sofa all day and do nothing other than watch films. Jobs that needed to be done around the house just didn’t get done because I couldn’t be bothered. Any slight little issue that cropped up I just couldn’t deal with it, I would end up in tears not knowing how to sort it out. It usually meant that Matt sorted it out for me. My kids have learnt to become very domesticated, which is great now,  but I am sure at the time it wasn’t fair on them. 

This may sound really stupid but depression was a place, at the time, I think I was happy to be in while I was living it and I didn’t have the desire to leave. Thankfully, now I am not there anymore, I see it as a place I do not want to go back to. 

Over the last 18 months I feel I have found a remedy – it’s called exercise. If I think back some of my most happiest times is when I have been doing exercises. Training for my half marathon in Rwanda was one of the hardest things physically I have had to do, but mentally it was a release from all that negativity in my life. It also gave me purpose – something to aim for. 

We have been very lucky because we have room in our house for a gym. It is a place I have been a lot over the past 18 months. However over the past 2 months we have decided to renovate our house and our gym is no more. Well that is until the work is completed. 

I have not done too much exercise since coming back from Rwanda. Partly because we have been away a lot and partly because we have no gym.

I do like exercising outdoors but I like to go with other people. But the days I plan to go it always seems to be raining. 


Exercising in the rain is not much fun. I have never been a person who is really proactive when it comes to exercise so l struggle to go on my own – especially if it’s raining!

I have to admit that over the last few weeks I have been getting slightly down. It can only be the lack of exercise. This week though I have tried to be a bit more proactive and get myself back out there. 

I have managed to do a few bike rides and some walks. I have not started the running back up but I will soon. I have to say it’s worked and cheered me up no end. That’s probably because the weather has been nice as well. 

So I never thought I would ever say this but I can’t wait for the gym to be finished so I can start running again and not have to go out in the rain! 

Year 2 week 31

30th July – 5th August 2017

Now that I am back from my holiday and at home for a while, I thought I would take the opportunity to get myself back on track – back on track with organising healthy meals, organise my food intake, continue with my exercises and hopefully lose more weight. 

18 months ago, when I first met Jenny my nutritionist, she told me that at first the weight would come off very easy. Then I will get to a stage and it will stop. In that pause I was to maintain my weight and after a period of time has gone, to try again and see if I can lose anymore weight. 

That is exactly what has happened to me. In previous diets, that pause has been a frustration for me, it has been the part where I give up and turn back to my old habits. 

This time I am not as frustrated. It would have been nice to continuously lose weight but I haven’t. Instead of getting down about it I have just tried to continue and not really worry too much about what the scales say.

Now that I am back from my holiday I feel I can concentrate on it a bit more. I thought I would go back to basics and start from the beginning again. It meant I had to take a look at what I did all those months ago. 

Hindsight can be really good and useful but looking all the way back to the beginning, seeing what I went through, makes me wonder how I ever did it the first time. 


What I did back then was the hardest thing I have ever done. The pain and suffering I went through to change my eating habits was so immense that I don’t think I could do it again. 

My habits have changed so much and all that hunger, shakes, eating less, low energy levels, tears, eating food I didn’t like, cutting out food I did, pain and suffering were worth it. 

Looking back now, knowing how hard it was, makes it even harder for me to start again. So on this occasion hindsight isn’t good. 

However things are a little different and should possibly be easier as I am already eating less and I won’t have to eat food I don’t like anymore because I have grown to enjoy it. I will have to cut back on foods I have let creep back in and I will have to go hungry again. But it seems like nothing in comparison.

Because I’ve looked back it has made it difficult to start again, so I have decided to tweek things a little and do it slightly differently so I can’t see what’s coming.  Hopefully when I start seeing results again it will help me to continue 

Year 2 week 25

18th – 24th June 2017

This week has been a very slow week,  It has been frustratingly slow. The reason it has been like that is because I couldn’t get out much and I couldn’t exercise at all. 

We are having work done in our house at the minute and everywhere you turn there is some kind of building equipment around the place. I can’t get things without moving something out of the way first. 

One day I needed to get my shoes out of the cupboard but blocking the way was 15 sheets of plaster board.  I needed my shoes so I tried to struggle and get them out, while doing so everything slipped and the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor with the plaster boards on top of me. 

I never really knew how heavy plaster board was. Apparently each one weighs 25 kilos that means I had 375 kilos of weight fall on me and I was lying there in my house with no one around to ask to help. 

 Eventually I managed to get myself out from under it. I don’t know how I didn’t break a bone.  However I did come out with many bruises, lots of swelling especially on my right leg and I think I ended up a lot worse than the plaster board. 

Because of that I have spent most of the week with my leg elevated which has meant that I couldn’t really do much except get very bored.

Boredom usually makes me eat. But despite this set back my eating has been pretty good considering.

Before I started this weight loss journey my energy levels were fairly nonexistent and I would limp and I would never plan to go out for the day – it would just be too tiring. 

One thing that has been on my bucket list for years was to go to Royal Ascot.  It’s a place I didn’t think I would ever go to because of the amount of time you are on your feet. This year was my chance. I was looking forward to dressing up, wearing a fancy hat and maybe even have a flutter. 


I did manage to go but I felt like I was back to the old me – limping everywhere and struggling to get around. Despite the pain I had a really nice day and I enjoyed it immensely. 

One thing it did was make me glad I am not like that anymore.  These struggles are temporary because I will soon heal.  It has also made me think how did I live like that before for so long! 

It has made me realise that I am so much happier now, even though I have bruised and swollen legs and temporarily walk with a limp.

Year 2 week 11

12th – 18th March 2017

I have always been a person who isn’t afraid of failing. To me failing is something to learn from, a way to improve. Failing is giving up. 

Thomas Edison made the lightbulb. For him to get to the lightbulb that actually worked he had hundreds of failed attempts. His response to those failed attempts were I now know hundreds of ways of how not to do it. The thing is he persevered and eventually succeeded. He never gave up. 

Sometimes when I draw a picture it can take me a good few attempts to get it right. I have, on quite a few occasions, been known to throw away my first attempts and try again. What I have learnt from it is that I now know a few ways of how not to do it. So I keep trying until I get it right. 

Because I am not afraid to fail it means I am not afraid to take on a challenge. One thing I have been aiming for since the middle of last year is the biggest challenge of my life. 

Last year when the weight was coming off and I could do a lot more activities I wanted to do a challenge that I would never have even attempted before I lost the weight and yesterday I signed up. 

Basically I have signed up to run a half marathon in Rwanda. It’s to raise money for a charity called Compassion. 

Compassion helps children around the world. You can sponsor a child for £25 a month and that money gives that child an opportunity to get an education which leads to a good job enabling them to be able to support their family. 

I am running to raise £10,000 to give 10 children the opportunity of a better future. 

Before I started this journey I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t think about the needs of others. Now though I feel I can and it’s helping me stay motivated on my own goals at the same time. 

However, this challenge is the first time I have ever got a fear of failing. I think it’s because there is so much at stake and the fact that I only have one shot at it. If I fail it’s not like I can try again. I would have just failed and I would feel I have let so many people down. 

I told Matt my fears and he said “at least you are failing up”.  I thought about that and I realised he was right. To fail is to not even try and I know I am doing that. 

I have however had a few setbacks. Before Christmas I could run 5 miles but I needed to have an operation because I knew I couldn’t run with all that saggy skin. So that was 6 weeks out. I then got vertigo which didn’t help and then I could finally start running again and I got the biggest blister on my toe which made my whole foot blow up like a balloon. 

This week though I managed to start my training back up again. I have ran 20 miles this week in total and now I am exhausted. I know this challenge will be hard, I know it is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am not even sure if I will finish it but I am going to try my best and if I fail at least I will know I have done my best. 

The run is in 8 weeks time so I have a lot of training to do and money to raise in a short space of time. If you would like to sponsor me, tap on the link. https://challenges.compassionuk.org/profile/414/debbie-wattis

Year 2 week 6

4th – 11th February 2017

I find in life that you can live a lot of contradictions. For instance I find myself a lot having to shout at the kids to be quiet. 


I have to shout sometimes though just to be heard. 

I have also found that much of what I have learnt about nutrition is a contradiction to what is normally taught.  Like having butter and oil instead of low fat alternatives. 

Apparently fat burns fat, so by using the proper butter and oil in its natural state is so much better for you than low fat products because of all the preservatives used in them. 

Since my operation I find I am living another contradiction. I spent all of last year losing weight, doing lots of exercise and generally getting physically stronger in myself. The operation was to get rid of the excess skin that was left behind. 

However I find that since the operation I have needed to rest. I have not been on any walks, I have not been for a run, I have done no exercise at all. I am finding that against my will I am getting lazy because I can’t really do much. I can’t even pick up anything heavier than a cup of tea. 

I am finding it fairly frustrating. Going from being very active to not active at all is taking its toll. 

I have not changed my eating habits but I feel like I am putting on weight. I can’t tell at the minute because the swelling I have got since the operation doesn’t give me a true reading of my weight. It is just my own opinion. 

I did talk to Jenny about it and she has told me not to worry. She also reminded me of when I first went on the detox and that I couldn’t exercise for a few months and I still lost weight. She said it’s like that for me again now. 

It doesn’t stop me worrying that I am putting on weight even though I am trying my hardest to lose it. 

Living a contradiction isn’t always the easiest thing to do but I have no choice and it will have to end at some point. 

Day 260

Friday 16th September 2016

On and off I have had a personal trainer for about 10 years, in that time I must have had about 5 trainers. I have always felt I needed one because if I didn’t exercise the weight would pile on. 

Matt was leaving on a cycle ride this morning and I said that he had so much motivation going and exercising by himself. I also told him that if Leon (my personal trainer) wasn’t coming I wouldn’t be exercising at all. 

Why is it that some people can exercise alone and others can’t. If I think back 10 years to when I first got a personal trainer I remember saying that one of my goals was to be self motivated and exercise by myself. That just hasn’t happened at all. 

I find nothing more boring than going to a gym alone getting on a treadmill and staring at the wall the entire time. 


However if I had friends running on the treadmills either side of me that would be so much more enjoyable. 

When I exercise with others I always turn up because if I don’t I won’t just be letting myself down. 

I think if I exercised alone I would not do a proper workout either – one sign of things getting difficult and I would stop. Other people help you to continue and see it through to the end.

That is how I feel with all the support I am getting. I have got so many people investing time, giving encouraging words and helping me that it makes me want to continue until the end. Because if I don’t I won’t just be letting myself down.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 6.2lbs.      ⬅️➡️.      68.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

104.4kg.             ⬅️➡️.        32.1kg⬇️total

Day 252

Thursday 8th September 2016

With the kids going back to school, I can get back into some kind of routine. That means seeing some people I haven’t seen since the beginning of summer. 

I felt over the summer I tried hard with very little results. I went on a few bike rides – one that was 23 miles – I climbed Snowdon and I went on many walks, some of them quite challenging. I have done more activities this summer than I have ever done before. 

I have even eaten a lot healthier over the summer. I went away a few times and I still watched what I ate. I was very conscious that I didn’t want to ruin all my hard work up until that point. Putting all this into consideration I felt that I hadn’t lost any weight. 

So why all of a sudden are people shocked by how much weight I have lost? Some people say that they are hardly recognising me. 

I know deep down I am doing well but I just can’t see it. To me I am the same only I have more energy, my clothes are baggy and my health has improved. I just can’t see what everyone else sees. 

Today though I had a shock


One thing I was shocked about was that I decided to look back at what my weight was at the beginning of the summer. I thought I had not lost any weight but it turns out that I have actually lost 5lbs. Ok, so it’s not brilliant but it’s definitely better than nothing. 

I spend my time looking at what I was yesterday but when I actually looked a bit further back it turns out to be a lot better than I thought. 

Another thing that constantly shocks me  is when I go shopping for clothes. I would go for a 16 comfortably but I have been known to buy a 14. Yesterday I had to buy a 12!

Today I went shopping with my sister in law and niece, Kate, and I tried on a coat. I have always found that with coats I need to get bigger because of all the clothes on underneath. I got a 16 thinking I would need to go up a size but no, I had to go down a size. I couldn’t believe it. 

So there’s me thinking that I had made no progress whatsoever over the summer but really I think I achieved a lot!

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7.4lbs. ⬅️➡️. 67.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105kg. ⬅️➡️. 31.5kg⬇️total