Year 3 week 24

11th – 17th June 2018

It has been one amazing week. My time in Kenya has been very busy and very eye opening.

We got to go to see some of the Compassion projects while we were there. They made us feel very welcome. Those kids are the happiest children I have ever met – they always had a smile on their face and when I gave them a simple gift like a balloon their faces lit up even more.

They live in poverty and yet they are full of joy. I am not sure I would have been so happy with a balloon for a gift!

I got to see my sponsor child, Elvin, while I was there and he took me to his house. There are 5 of them who live in a room about the size of my downstairs toilet, which is incredibly small I can tell you. It was quite a special moment for me.

There were many other projects we visited throughout the week and everywhere we went the welcome was the same. Those happy joyful faces can keep you going for a long time.

At the end of the week I was to do my half marathon. I think all the things I had witnessed that week made my feet go faster because I felt like I was flying. I was still slow in the whole scheme of things but to me it felt fast. I had my music playing and I think I must have annoyed everyone near me as I was singing really loud and I can’t sing!

By the time I got to 13.1 miles I had smashed my personal best time. However on this half marathon I had just under another mile to go until I got to the finish line.

At that point the heat had hit me and I couldn’t go any further. I had to rest and cool myself off. I sat there for 20 minutes and then carried on very slowly. That last part took me an hour in total.

All I wanted to see was the finish line but it just didn’t seem to be anywhere. Then in the distance I saw this red banner with ‘finish’ written on it. It was the best thing I had seen all day. Running across that finish line was the best feeling.

It made it even more special with the people cheering and clapping as I arrived.

A cup of water was tipped over my head for me to cool down which was lovely. I later found out that it got to over 40 degrees that day. No wonder I over heating. I couldn’t believe I had done it for the second time and in that heat.

I will never forget my week in Kenya and all the things I achieved but most of all I will never forget the happy faces of all those children.

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Year 3 Week 20

14th – 20th May 2018

It really isn’t long now until I go to Kenya. It’s hard to believe that a month from now it will all be over and I will be looking for something else to focus on.

For months now my main focus has been training for this half marathon. I know it will be the second time of doing it but the training is still important.

I think the fact that I know I have done it before makes me believe that I can do it again. Last year that was one of my biggest fears – not knowing if I could do it or not.

I have been training now for over 6 months and some months I have been training almost everyday. Since January I have set myself goals that have been going very well. Infact they have been going so much better than I expected.

That is until this month. For May I have set the goal to up my mileage every week and by the end of the month hopefully I would have reached 10 or 11 miles.

Last week I managed to reach 9 miles which I was extremely happy about. However afterwards I was ill. My neck was burning and swelling up I got incredibly tired and I put on 5lbs over night. I generally felt really rotten and my emotions were all over the place. So I booked an appointment with my doctor. He suspects that I might have a thyroid disease which he can only prove with further blood tests. He also said it’s brought on by stress.

Fortunately, this week I went to see Jenny and a month ago I had a DNA health test with her and this week my results had arrived. I told her my issues and she said the way I was feeling made sense. This stress the doctors said though is not mental stress – it’s physical stress.

She said that the Thyroid contains something called T3 and T4. One keeps you going helping you do the things you need to do and the other helps to heal repair and level out things afterwards. She said the one to repair is not working which is why I instantly put on weight and why my emotions are going haywire and why I am generally tired all the time.

She also said that what I have been doing is basically sticking a plaster on a stab wound.

I have had a thyroid issue for years and I have always kept up on test checking that all is ok. My main focus throughout my training though has all been about strengthening my legs and sorting out any little ailments I may have, which I feel I have done.

What Jenny said has totally made me think and I realised that has been exactly what I have been doing – I have been putting that plaster over a stab wound. I have been too busy trying to make sure my legs can get me across that finish line that I forgot to look deeper to see what the real problem was.

It isn’t all bad news though as there is something that can be done about it apparently. I have done another 9 miles since and I was a little better than before. So it means that I can still go to Kenya. But I am actually starting to doubt whether I can complete the challenge. Whatever happens, I will keep trying.

Year 3 week 12

19th – 25th March 2018

This month it has been a real struggle completing my challenges. 8 days away this month hasn’t really helped much. I feel it has meant I am behind on my goals

To run/walk 30 miles I am on schedule but with the swimming I am very behind and I have been trying to catch up ever since I got back from my travels. I also gave myself the added challenge to lose weight this month too. Up until now I have been failing miserably.

I have found that these challenges have been really good for me. I have risen to the challenge every month and I have not failed once. This month though I might be looking at just that – FAILURE!!! I feel the swimming I can catch up on but the losing weight, well that’s a different story

I still see Jenny my nutritionist and this week I told her that I was really struggling to lose anymore weight. I think it was nothing she didn’t already know. I also told her about this little voice I have got going round in my head telling me to eat the food I shouldn’t. I have been struggling with this little voice for a while and it wouldn’t go away until I had succumbed. I know this sounds really silly but I feel by the fact I shared it with Jenny it made that voice disappear.

She then went on to give me a new diet plan to follow which I was really happy about. I thought to myself great I will start tomorrow. Straight after I went to lunch and I thought if this diet is starting tomorrow I will eat today. I was sitting there in this cafe not even eating anything majorly bad but I was still eating something I shouldn’t and I found myself looking around and checking that Jenny wasn’t there to witness it.

I think the thought of Jenny witnessing what I was doing was far worse than the other voice I had just got rid of. So really you could say I have just replaced one voice for another.

The next day I started her diet. All I know from Jenny’s diets is that they are not easy – she likes to remove all carbs, bread, rice, pasta, potatoes and anything with sugar in. I thought with my motivation at the moment there was not a chance I would even get through the first day. I am now on day 4 and still going strong I even watched the kids eat pizza today at lunch while I had a homemade vegetable soup.

I think having Jenny’s voice going around in my head, having her as my conscience, on my shoulder is definitely a good thing and I am happy to say that the scales are going down too.

Year 3 week 1

1st – 7th January 2018

My eating in December was so bad that now we have hit January it’s all systems go.

There is a saying that I hear every new year and that is ‘New Year, New You’ and I always go by it. I make new years resolutions to try to improve certain situations and I have to say that this year is no different.

The year always starts well and as the months roll by those resolutions have gradually slipped. That’s definitely how last year went anyway!

For now though I am going for it. I have decided to give myself a challenge every month.

I have decided that my challenge this month is swimming. I have been using a pool that is 15 meters in length and the challenge is to swim 2018 lengths this month.

I set it on the 1st and thought for me to achieve this goal I will need to swim 100 lengths a day with 2 days off a week.

My challenge has started well and the first few days it was good. But once I got to days 3 and 4 it was taking its toll. Towards the end of the week it was getting easier.

I am not really finding this challenge easy. When I set it I thought it would be a challenge but not a huge push. I am finding it quite a chore though.

I have however managed to make the effort every day this week and I have already knocked 600 lengths off that target.

My eating has improved this month but it’s not perfect with all this extra swimming. I’m finding I am getting extra hungry which isn’t always good when you are trying to cut down.

Maybe I can do better next week.

Year 2 week 45

5th- 11th October 2017

Every time I try to lose weight I always do really well at first. The first few stone has always been very easy – it’s probably because I always start a diet with about 7 stone or more to lose!

After the first few stone has come off the next few are slightly more hard work but they do come off gradually. 

Usually after 5 stone has come off I stop. The weight from then on in just doesn’t want to budge. It’s like I have hit a brick wall with absolutely no way of getting around it. 

I have hit that brick wall many times before. I have tried everything to get through but that wall always seems to stay intact. The longest I have ever been there is 6 months and then I give up and ended up turning around and going back again usually putting on more weight than I ever have before. 

This time though is different I have been standing at that wall now for over a year and however hard I try I still can’t break through. 

Since my half marathon and the holidays I have been on over the summer the weight has been gradually creeping back on again – not much but enough for me to notice. I have stayed healthy with my eating but I have had a slightly more relaxed attitude. I think my portion sizes have been getting bigger and some treats were creeping back in too. 

It has got me to a point where I am standing at that wall and wondering what now. 


I feel I can’t go down this journey and gradually put the weight back on again. I have come too far.  There is only one option and that is to try harder.  It means going to the beginning again. You may be thinking that I have done that before and you would be right. 

Last time though I was doing it out of desperation. I had to because I couldn’t continue down the road I was going on. I think my determination came from my desperation to change. 

This time though I have gone back to the beginning without that desperation to change. I feel I have achieved all my goals other than getting to my ideal weight. I have so much more energy, I can go into a regular shop and there would be lots of clothes that would fit, I am eating healthier and lots more. 

Without that desperation to change I wasn’t sure if I could do it. In someways I prefer to start with the desperation because it drives you. Starting again now has been so much harder. 

I am now 10 days in my current detox and I am actually surprised with how well I have done. I have managed to lose 8 pounds in that time. I have felt a little hungry but not as much as I thought. I just hope the weight continues to fall. 

Year 2 week 34

20th – 26th August 2017

One thing I have learnt on this journey is that losing weight isn’t just about dropping the pounds . It’s also about changing habits, changing your mindset and the way I  think. It’s about forgetting the way you have done things in the past and changing it for the better. 

For me it has also been a journey of self discovery. I think the first step was knowing I needed to change and the second was doing something about it. Losing all those bad habits and emotional issues I had lived with for years was a bonus. 

One thing I find though is that I have to keep re-evaluating. Sometimes I feel that some of those old thoughts and feelings are creeping back in. 

The only way I can describe it is like I am playing a game of chess, but I keep getting myself in check. I feel I have to always be one step ahead of the game to even attempt to overcome my opponent. 

It can be tiring re-evaluating all the time because one wrong move will end me up in check mate and that means it’s game over. 


I am finding 40 odd years of bad habits is hard to get rid of forever. This is why I am constantly re-evaluating my thoughts, my emotions, the way I think. 

Some weeks I find I do really well and I can keep it all at bay. But some weeks I have to admit I fail miserably.

I just feel I need to keep myself moving around that board. I feel I am in a never ending game of life and I just need to keep moving keep evaluating to succeed. 

Day 36

Friday 5th February 2016

Day 9 of detox

I don’t mind so much what I am eating any more. I kind of have this attitude that it doesn’t matter what it tastes like going in, it’s what it does on the inside that counts. I don’t seem to crave sweet things any more either.

I did go to M&S food and it bothered me a little.

Still feeling shaky, I am amazed how I can survive for so long on so few calories it must be the quality and not the quantity that counts.

20st 1.1lbs.   0.7lbs⬇️.     17.9lbs⬇️total

Day 32

Monday 31st February

Day 5 of detox

Had a much better day today, all the withdrawal symptoms are gone.

Saw the nutritionist again she said because my withdrawals are gone, the healthy food I am eating is being used more effectively and I am burning fat better using my reserves. So I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise it.


20st 3.5lbs.     0.2 lbs⬇️.      15.5lbs⬇️total😐

Day 31

Sunday 31st January 2016

Day 4 of detox

I am still eating food I don’t like, but I am going to persevere with it in the hope that I do get to like it.

By late morning I got very giddy and shaky and I couldn’t shake it off, not even after lunch. I was so bad at lunch time that I cried my way through it. I just couldn’t cope any more.


Had to go to bed in the afternoon but I was really struggling. I got to the stage where I wanted to quit I thought I would tell Jenny the nutritionist so I called her.

She said that I am doing really well and to keep going and that what I am feeling is natural because at the minute all the glucose is coming out of my liver and the shakes are like me going through cold turkey. She said tomorrow would be better.

So I didn’t quit.

After dinner a was a little better.

20st 3.7lbs.    1lb⬇️.     15.3lbs⬇️total😫😂😭