20th – 26th August 2017
One thing I have learnt on this journey is that losing weight isn’t just about dropping the pounds . It’s also about changing habits, changing your mindset and the way I think. It’s about forgetting the way you have done things in the past and changing it for the better.
For me it has also been a journey of self discovery. I think the first step was knowing I needed to change and the second was doing something about it. Losing all those bad habits and emotional issues I had lived with for years was a bonus.
One thing I find though is that I have to keep re-evaluating. Sometimes I feel that some of those old thoughts and feelings are creeping back in.
The only way I can describe it is like I am playing a game of chess, but I keep getting myself in check. I feel I have to always be one step ahead of the game to even attempt to overcome my opponent.
It can be tiring re-evaluating all the time because one wrong move will end me up in check mate and that means it’s game over.
I am finding 40 odd years of bad habits is hard to get rid of forever. This is why I am constantly re-evaluating my thoughts, my emotions, the way I think.
Some weeks I find I do really well and I can keep it all at bay. But some weeks I have to admit I fail miserably.
I just feel I need to keep myself moving around that board. I feel I am in a never ending game of life and I just need to keep moving keep evaluating to succeed.
Friday 5th February 2016
Day 9 of detox
I don’t mind so much what I am eating any more. I kind of have this attitude that it doesn’t matter what it tastes like going in, it’s what it does on the inside that counts. I don’t seem to crave sweet things any more either.
I did go to M&S food and it bothered me a little.
Still feeling shaky, I am amazed how I can survive for so long on so few calories it must be the quality and not the quantity that counts.
20st 1.1lbs. 0.7lbs⬇️. 17.9lbs⬇️total
Monday 31st February
Day 5 of detox
Had a much better day today, all the withdrawal symptoms are gone.
Saw the nutritionist again she said because my withdrawals are gone, the healthy food I am eating is being used more effectively and I am burning fat better using my reserves. So I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise it.
20st 3.5lbs. 0.2 lbs⬇️. 15.5lbs⬇️total😐
Sunday 31st January 2016
Day 4 of detox
I am still eating food I don’t like, but I am going to persevere with it in the hope that I do get to like it.
By late morning I got very giddy and shaky and I couldn’t shake it off, not even after lunch. I was so bad at lunch time that I cried my way through it. I just couldn’t cope any more.
Had to go to bed in the afternoon but I was really struggling. I got to the stage where I wanted to quit I thought I would tell Jenny the nutritionist so I called her.
She said that I am doing really well and to keep going and that what I am feeling is natural because at the minute all the glucose is coming out of my liver and the shakes are like me going through cold turkey. She said tomorrow would be better.
So I didn’t quit.
After dinner a was a little better.
20st 3.7lbs. 1lb⬇️. 15.3lbs⬇️total😫😂😭
Tuesday 19th January 2016
Even though I put on weight it didn’t seem to bother me at all. I was in a happy mood, I think I am learning and I am sure it will come off tomorrow.
20st 13lbs. 0.7lbs ⬆️. 6lbs ⬇️ total🙂