Year 3 week 26

25th June – 1st July 2018

This week I have been trying to cut down on my food intake. When I set myself this challenge I knew it was going to be hard. All I kept thinking about was how hard it was for me last time in January 2016.

Back then I ate so little food. The food I did eat was protein, fruit and vegetables and very little of anything else. I remember I went from eating junk constantly to eating really healthy with a 5 hour break in-between each meal. I remember it was quite a major shock to my system. So much so that I was fit for nothing.

I spent most of my time in bed without the energy to get up. If I did get up I was so shaky. The hunger pains were so intense that I am sure they could hear the rumbles next door.

My life back then consisted of eating very little and sleeping a lot – I couldn’t physically do anything else.

Remembering what I went through then is very off putting now. Last time I did that out of desperation to lose weight and have more energy to keep up with the kids. However I have definitely got the energy to keep up with the kids now. I know I still have a lot of weight to lose but that desperation has gone.

I have this week though managed to cut down considerably. I don’t know how I have managed to do it because I thought my willpower was non existent. I have been eating mainly protein, fruit and veg and I haven’t found it as hard as I thought.

I have felt a little weak at times and on the very odd occasion shaky. It has however been nothing like it was before. I have even managed to exercise a few times this week too.

There has been one drawback though and that is I haven’t lost any weight at all – I just don’t get it. I know I am thinner though because I can feel it. It’s a good job I no longer concentrate on the scales!


Day 323

Friday 18th November 2016

A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctors to be referred to the CPAP clinic because I have sleep apnea. It basically means that I can have restricted breathing in the night. 

A CPAP machine is what I sleep with at night and is a mask over my nose. It blows air down my nose keeping my airways open while I am asleep. I have used this machine for about 15 years and I am very used to it now. Because of this I find that I rely on it to sleep. 

If you have sleep apnea, unless you have a machine, you often don’t get very good quality sleep and make you feel very tired throughout the day. It can also increase your risk of a heart attack. 

Being overweight is often a cause of sleep apnea. The extra weight adds pressure around the neck narrowing your airways. Now that I have lost so much weight I’m hoping that I don’t have that problem anymore. 

When I saw the doctor I think she thought I had totally lost it. She has never had someone come in with improved health questioning whether their treatment for sleep apnea should continue!

It took a while for her to refer me and she wanted to go through all the regular checks. But eventually she did. 

Yesterday I had that appointment and I was given a machine that I had to wear on my wrist and finger which monitored my sleep pattern. However it meant that I couldn’t wear the CPAP machine all night. 

I have never been without it for a whole night before. This year I have taken it off for a few hours just to test but never the whole night. 

It took me a while to get off to sleep but when I did it was ok. I didn’t wake up tired like I’d had bad quality sleep and I stayed awake the whole day.

I am still waiting for the results but the way I feel today is real progress. However I do feel that the machine is a crutch and that it might take a little longer for me to not be fully reliant on it. 

Day 298

Monday 24th October 2016

First night in the caravan. The last time we were all in the caravan together the kids were so much smaller, which makes it feel very cramped now.  The only person who has got smaller is me!

I have never really enjoyed sleeping in the caravan because the bed is so small.

My feet touch one end and my head touches the other. I don’t think people of 5’9″ can really be completely comfortable. 

The thing is the bed is not very wide either. I have always in the past felt like I have been hanging off the side. I also have to lie straight because there isn’t enough room to bend your legs up and I end up waking up with a bad back and still tired from a sleepless night.

Last night though I had the best sleep I have ever had in the caravan. I am not hanging off the side anymore I could even bend my legs to the side with room to spare which meant my height wasn’t a problem 

So really I have come to the conclusion today, that it’s wasn’t the bed that wasn’t wide enough but it was just me that was too wide. 

No weigh in

Day 184

Saturday 2nd July 2016

Over the last few days I have spent a lot of time outside. Jake my youngest son had his sports day at school yesterday. I have always hated sports day because I end up being outside to watch him for a whole afternoon. Usually I would spend most of the afternoon sneezing with hayfever but this time the hayfever didn’t affect me at all. 

Today Jake had a cross country run in the morning which I watched. I think all that fresh air over the last few days has made me tired. 

I never have a nap in the middle of the day. I would relax in front of the TV but never fall asleep half way through. This is because of my sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea prevents me going to sleep on my own, I can only go to sleep wearing my CPAP machine (it helps me breathe). I have tried a few times recently to go to sleep without it but when I relax I seem to end up gasping for breath. 

Today though is the first time in many years that I actually had a nap. 

It’s the first time I have managed to relax enough to fall asleep on my own. To me this is a real achievement something I have been aiming for all year. 

Also over the last few days I have had a most incredible hunger even straight after eating. I haven’t had hunger like that in a while. I did however manage to stick to the rules. That might explain the weight loss this morning I finally got under that pound that has been stubborn.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 12.6lbs.      0.4lbs⬇️.   62.4lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

107.3kg.        0.2kg⬇️.       29.5kg⬇️total

Day 122

Sunday 1st May 2016

I have had a bit of a cold lately. I think that was the reason I woke up so early yesterday. This morning though it was even earlier.

I have had sleep apnoea for 12 years. It’s basically a sleep disorder. When I sleep I can stop breathing in the night which would then partially wake me up and then I would carry on sleeping as normal. This would repeat many times throughout the night. It would also prevent me from ever going into a deep sleep. It would leave me feeling really tired for the rest of the day. 

Often the cause is from being overweight and without treatment it can be quite hazardous to your health. It can bring on an early heart attack.  The treatment is a machine you wear at night that helps you breathe.

It’s a mask that blows air in through your nose constantly throughout the night.

I have been married for nearly 20 years and for 12 of them I have had to wear this mask. It also makes me sound like Darth Vader. I am amazed I am still married.

I have never taken off the mask in 12 years. I rely on it to have a good night sleep. Last night however because of my cold I couldn’t sleep. I woke at 4.30am and there was not a chance I was going back off. I decided that I might as well disguard it and try and sleep without it. It worked and I slept for the rest of the night.

I am pretty sure that I will put it back on again tonight. But it is the first step to getting rid of it completely.

17st.  10.9lbs.    ⬅️➡️.        50.1lbs⬇️total

112.9kg.              ⬅️➡️.        23.6kg⬇️total