Day 366

Saturday 31st December 2016

New Years Eve

I DID IT !!!!

I wrote my diary everyday for a year. I never really thought that this day would ever come at times. And what a year it has been!

I have had so many emotional ups and downs. I have put in some hard work and I feel like I have achieved so much this year.

At the start of the year when I started to write this blog my post for day one said:

“It’s New Year’s Day and with true New Years tradition I decided to make a New Years resolution. I AM going to lose weight this year.

So today is day 1 and I did absolutely nothing towards dieting.

Oh well, there is always tomorrow.”

In my experience when you are dieting,  tomorrow never comes.  Well it looks like on this occasion it did and kept coming for 365 days after.

I have always been a person to set New Years resolutions and I have always tried my best to stick to them as well. To lose weight is always near the top of the list and it’s one resolution that always got broken.

This year I did set a few resolutions and I can honestly say that I did stick to them too.

Some of the resolutions for this year did get added throughout the year but they were still goals I was aiming to achieve during the year.

One was to lose 100lbs before the end of the year. Unless I miraculously lose 25lbs before midnight I failed this task. I have always hated failing things especially when it comes to personal goals.

However, I don’t really look at it as a failure. I just look at all the things I have achieved and the reason I didn’t get to 100lbs wasn’t for the lack of trying!

Some of those goals I have achieved only last week, like running 5 miles before the end of the year. And right now I am achieving another goal by posting my final daily blog of the year and drawing yet another picture.  The joy I get when I have achieved one of my goals far out weighs the fact that I didn’t lose 100lbs.

This journey this year has taught me so much:

1) A lot can happen in a year and it’s up to you to make it change for the better.

2) Being honest with yourself and how you really feel is the first step to making a change.

3) Listening to the things that are going on around you and getting something positive from it.

4) Confessing how you feel about situations especially about how you feel about yourself. I have found confession is the cure.

5) Make a plan and stick to it no matter how hard it gets. When you can push on through the hard times is when you get a greater reward.

6) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.

7) You need support so get some people around you can trust.

8) Don’t rely on the scales, especially when the weight isn’t coming off. It will come off eventually.

So for me a lot really has happened in a year. It doesn’t mean though that this journey is over. It just means that I have written one book and now I am about to start the next volume

My health is now my number one priority and this will be the journey that will continue from now on. So to say that this is the end is untrue because I am sure that a lot of those issues I have faced this year will try to come back out again. But I think I am now a bit more aware of how to deal with them.

The difference a year makes:

20th Jan 16 / 31st Dec 16
11th Feb 16 / 31st Dec 16

Hopefully next year I can carry on this weight loss journey with the same amount of success and achievement. I also have plenty of new goals which I want to pursue in the new year.  These goals I would never have been able to think about if I hadn’t lost the weight I have this year.

If I could put this year into one word that word would be ‘overcoming’.  That is what I think I have done this year – I’ve overcome so much.

I have definitely enjoyed you being on this journey with me everyday. I have found it a challenge to keep up this pace of daily posts. It doesn’t mean I am gone for good. I will be back from time to time to give you updates and let you know how my New Years resolutions for 2017 are going.

Have a really great new year and I hope your 2017 is even more rewarding than my 2016 has been.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. . 34.8kg⬇️total


Day 365

Friday 30th December 2016

For me to get to where I am today and to have lost 5 half stone (75 pounds) over the past 12 months has taken an awful lot of willpower, determination, discipline, pain, grit, and strength. 

I have had some great people around me helping me but I feel I wouldn’t have had the strength, willpower and determination if it wasn’t for Gods help too. 

For many years previously I have prayed for Gods help for me to lose weight. However I think when I prayed I wanted him to do the work with no pain on my side. 

You are going to think I am stupid when I admit this but one of my prayers was that I asked to wake up in the morning and I would be thin!  I know God is a God of miracles but I do totally understand why he didn’t do that. Actually I didn’t believe that he would eventhough I did pray it! 

One thing I have learnt is that God does help but he wants you to help yourself first. 

Until I was willing to put in the effort and do the hard work for myself God wasnt going to start helping me. It would have been so easy for God to let me wake up in the morning and I be thin but what would I have learnt?

I would have still had the same eating habits, I would have had the same emotional problems, I would have been exactly the same but thinner! No doubt I would have piled the weight back on quickly.

The way I have done it has taught me so much more because I have had to work hard. But I have felt that God has been there and has given me the strength to fight on through. 

God is often known as the lion of Judah

He helps us fight our battles, he is there with us all the time giving us what we need to fight that battle, whether it’s strength, determination, willpower, hope, peace – he knows what you need. 

I know that I have done well this year and changed a lot for the better but I would never have done it without Gods help. 

I don’t know if you believe in God or not but, in my experience, he is there to help in any situation you might be going through – you just have to ask and believe he can do it. 

Day 364

Thursday 29th December 2016

One thing that has really helped me is my friends. I am very lucky to have some really great friends some I have known for a longtime and others I have only just met this year. 

I have found this year that I have made more friends and met so many more people than I would normally. One thing I realise is that more people understand what I have been going through this year because they are living with similar life struggles too. 

My journey has opened up so many conversations because a lot of people are battling the same journey. 

My friends this year have all been a great encouragement to me. Having people believing I can do it makes me believe it too. 

To know that my friends are behind me giving me a pat on the back has been such an encouragement this year. 

I have had people help by making me homemade soups, helping me exercise, cooking me dinner, making special food just for me. They have put up with me being grumpy, especially at the beginning of the year, and a whole lot more. I am so grateful for some great friends. 

Over the last few days I have told you about all the people who have helped me which shows how important it is to have good support. 

If you are wanting to go down a similar route next year it is important to have that support network because it is a vital part of your success. 

Everyone has someone they can ask for help, whether it’s a spouse, one of your kids, a friend or even a neighbour. 

I have been told in the past it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help but one thing I have realised is that it is actually a sign of strength. It takes a really strong person to admit that they need to change and need help to do so. 

So never be afraid to ask for help – it might just be the first step to a better life. 

Day 363

Wednesday 28th December 2016

When I started this journey I was always going to write a diary about my experiences everyday. What I didn’t plan to do was share it. 

I found my own way of expressing how I felt with my drawings everyday but I didn’t really expect anyone to ever read it. I know that sounds stupid because I put my diary on this blog everyday in a public place for people to see. 

The response I have got has been amazing. On certain days I have had over a thousand views reading one particular post. Over this year I have had over 34 thousand views and about 14 thousand visitors so far. 

I never really expected that kind of response. At times I feel that I have really put myself out there, I have shared my ups and downs. I feel that you, who have read it, have journeyed it with me and I have had all great comments – not one negative one. 

All your comments have been a great encouragement to me. I am really grateful for your support throughout this year. 

I think you must have got really fed up with me though popping up on your emails, timelines, and text notifications everyday.

On occasions it has been a real effort. Some days I have no idea what to talk about, some days I don’t know what to draw, some days I get a picture pop in my mind of something I need to draw but I have no idea why, I do it anyway and then it seems to come together when I write it. 

Some days I draw many pictures because they often look rubbish.  I have been even known to post the rubbish picture because I can’t be bothered to redo it! Some days I knew I would be so busy that I wouldn’t have time to draw about it, so it meant I had to prepare and do it the day before. Some days I felt I waffled and talked rubbish 

I have no idea how I have managed to keep it going everyday for so long. I have no idea where the inspiration for each post has come from. The only thing I can think of is that it’s God giving me the inspiration to say what I’ve said. 

Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. You have all kept me going.

Day 362

Tuesday 27th December 2016

There is one person who has really helped me this year and that is Jenny my nutritionist. 

I met her in January after Matt did  research into finding a nutritionist. She had really good ratings and she was only half an hour away from my house. 

The first time I met her she said she could help me. She said I could do a healthy eating plan called a metabolic balance. It consisted of a blood test which showed what was happening on the inside. 

She told me about the 4 phases I would go through when it came to food options. She said that she lives on phase 3 all the time. 

I have to say when she told me what I had to do I didn’t think there was a chance I would do it. It seemed far too hard and I definitely didn’t think I could live on it long term. In short I didn’t really believe her. 

It started by me going to see her every week for 6 months and then fortnightly for the last 6 months of this year. 

Jenny is a person I felt I could tell anything too. She put me at ease from the very beginning. She was a person I liked straight away and because I saw her so often it wasn’t long before we became friends. 

Visiting her every week usually consisted of a weigh in, sometimes she took measurements and she also helped to improve my skin. Because she believes eating healthier is sorting things from the inside out she also thinks we need to do the same from the outside in. 

We also talked a lot, usually about how I was getting on and she gave me so much nutrition advice. I have learnt so much from her. I never really understood before what food did to your body and how your body reacts to it until this year. 

However I think all I gave her is a pain in the foot. Because it seemed like every week I would go and break a glass. It wasn’t long until a bit ended up in her foot!

The beginning half of the year was really hard but I have to say it is the best thing I have ever done and definitely the most rewarding. 

She told me in January that it would be the last diet I would ever go on. I didn’t really believe that either. 

However she is right. You may be thinking that seeing a nutritionist isn’t exactly cheap – well you would be right! But I have been to many places to lose weight before where I pay a certain amount every week and I have done that for years. I think if I added it all up Jenny would be cheaper in the long run and it all worked. 

With Jenny I also get a personal service and she is at the other end of the phone when I need her. There was one time on day 4 of the detox when she had an hysterical woman on the other end of the phone. I was ready to quit but she encouraged me to carry on and said that tomorrow would be better. She was right. 

She has been right with everything she has told me and I have done exactly what she said because, after all, I am paying for her expertise and it’s in my best interest. 

So I just want to say a big thank you to Jenny. 

Without you I would never have done so well. 

I would advice everyone whether you need to lose weight or not to see a nutritionist if you want to try look her up on

because it’s the best thing I have ever done. 

Day 361

Monday 26th December 2016

Boxing Day

This year has been an amazing year for me. I have accomplished a lot but I couldn’t have done it without my family around me. 

The one person that made me start this journey this year is Matt. He was willing to give up on various work opportunities so that he could turn his attention to me. That is what made me want to start because Matt was willing to give up so much for me and I didn’t want to let him down. 

My kids have also put up with a lot from me this year too. They have been really understanding. 

The rest of my family have been a really great help too. I have lots of family in England and a lot in Australia as well

My sister, her husband and my nephew moved to Australia a few years back.  I also have an Uncle (my Dads brother) and Aunty who have lived there over 35 years. I have 2 cousins and another Aunty (my Dads sister) and her husband who have been there a few years too. 

Considering they are across the other side of the world they have been a constant support to me this year. They seem to like this blog and see how I am doing everyday. They are always giving me encouraging comments and very often I would get a private message with something they had resourced on my behalf. 

I just want to say a big thank you to you all. Even though you are over the other side of the world and I don’t see you every day I always look forward to your comments and I know I am going to miss them when my year is up. Thank you for being there. 

My family in England have also been a great help. I get to see them a lot more often so I don’t get so many comments but I do get them telling me things in person. Thank you all for being there for me. 

Without my family I don’t think I could have ever done so well. Support is something that is really important when you go through a journey like this. 

I guess it helps that I have a big family! 

Day 360

Sunday 25th December 2016

Christmas Day

I woke up this morning and it looked like my kids had been good because there were presents everywhere. It looked like I had been on the good list this year too because I did very well when it came to presents. 

After I made dinner for 15 people I thought that today I would have a day off and eat anything I wanted. It was good not to think about a diet for one day. I found though that I still stuck to the rules other than I had mince pies. I love mince pies and today I had a few for the first time this season. 

Christmas is a time of celebration and this year I felt I deserved to celebrate. At Christmas the focus can be all about the tree, tinsel, presents, Santa and a fancy dinner. 

Sometimes the real meaning of Christmas can get lost that actually we are celebrating the birth of Jesus. 

I went to a carol service at our church last night and one thing that was said was “can you imagine a life without God?” 

Some of you might think you can because you don’t believe in God. However if there was no God there would be no Christmas. So can you imagine a life without Christmas!

A lot more people go to church around Christmas time and sing songs with words in it like “Christ a saviour is born”. I personally believe this and I like to think that when I celebrate Christmas I am celebrating my saviours birth. 

You see a lot of signs that say Xmas and the Christ is taken out usually because they don’t have room or can’t be bothered to write it properly, but in my view you can’t take Christ out of Christmas because without him it wouldn’t exist. 

If there was no God, for me that would mean there is no hope. No hope to succeed, no hope to overcome, no hope for tomorrow. Let’s face it, my year this year has relied on that hope for all those reasons. 

I hope you all have had a great Christmas and remember to always leave a little room for Christ. 

Day 359

Saturday 24th December 2016

Christmas Eve.

I have been on this journey for nearly a year now which means that I have known Jenny for nearly a year. She has very often this year compared me to an onion and gradually over the year I have been peeling off the layers. 

The layers consist of past hurts and all the emotional problems I have lived with for years. I do really agree with this analogy, however there is one layer that is being really stubborn to remove. 

When I was about 13 my Mum bought me my first bikini. I think she thought I would like it . 13 is a very vulnerable age,  it’s an age you start to feel self conscious and still contain your puppy fat. I was no different. 

So even though it was nice of my Mum to buy me that bikini it was the last thing I wanted to wear. 

In those days we use to go on holiday with another family who had 2 boys just a little older than me. They would tease me a lot. One day while on holiday I was asked to wear the bikini –  I did kick up a bit of a fuss but eventually I put it on. 

I felt so self conscious and totally exposed.  In my head it was my worst nightmare. I really didn’t want to be there. I just wanted to put my swim suit back on and carry on like normal. 

I think the fact I felt so exposed made the 2 boys’ teasing worse – they did nothing but laugh at me. To make matters worse was that there was a photo taken of me. A reminder every now and then about how I felt. I have to say I have been left scarred from that situation 

My belly is something, since that day, that never sees the light of day and I have to say I am never planning to ever let it see the light of day either. However I don’t feel so scarred from that situation anymore. 

Over the year, though, so many of those layers have been peeled away to be left with just one that isn’t really an issue anymore. That isn’t too bad I think. 

Day 358

Friday 23rd December 2016

Yesterday I spent most of the morning getting in food for Christmas. We were having a food order delivered, I had a Marks and Spencer’s food order I needed to pick up and then I also had food ordered from the butchers I needed to get. 

Getting food for Christmas is always a nightmare and a day I never look forward to. I usually come home exhausted and cranky. Not this time though – the crowds of people didn’t bother me and I wasn’t tired at all. That’s definitely a new one for me. 

As I went back to my car there was a couple just parking their car right next to mine. I noticed them because he had a really bright coat on. I loaded my food into the boot and they walked to the shops. 

When it came to getting in my car I noticed that the woman had dropped her purse. I picked it up not sure what to do with it. 

I have always classed myself as an honest person so my first thought was I need to get it back to her. If it was last year I would have probably just put it on her car because I wouldn’t have had the energy to go and find her! 

This time though I went to find her. Remembering her husbands bright coat I thought I would look for that. I did look in her purse only to find a name so I could give it back to the right person. I felt awful doing that like I was invading someone’s privacy but it would have be awful giving it to the wrong person. 

I found them straight away and I went to her and asked her name. Then I said “I think you might be needing this”, handing her the purse. 

She was amazed and so grateful – she thanked me for my honesty.  I was just happy I did the right thing and pleased I made someone’s day. 

It has got me thinking ‘it’s good to be honest’ I like to think it’s something I have always done. But I then realised that I haven’t always been honest. I haven’t been honest with myself. 

For years I have told myself a whole pack of lies of why I am overweight, like it’s a medical condition, I only have to look at food and I put weight on, if I don’t eat every hour I get shaky, it’s impossible for me to lose weight. I have used every excuse under the sun. 

This year one of the things that has really helped me is the fact that I have started to be honest to myself and I have stopped listening to the lies. When you can look at yourself and see the reality of the situation you are in, it is the first steps of doing something about it. 

Day 357

Thursday 22nd December 2016

I have always loved games. I love to play cards, board games, I even like scrabble. 

For a dyslexic person to like scrabble is unusual I think. I have been known to be quite good at it. I can come up with words that no one has ever heard of – I add syllables together and I am then surprised that it’s allowed. 

The thing about scrabble for me is that it has been a fun way to learn to spell. I feel that this year I have been playing a year long game of scrabble and the words I put down are the things I am learning along the way. 

I think when playing games it is easy to take risks because the consequences are not that great. If you lose you can just play another game.  But what if you are living that game. The consequences are far greater and when the game is over that’s it – you can’t go back and replay it. 

I think that is how I have been most of my life. I have played games with my health by the fact I never took care of myself, I never watched what I ate, I never really thought anything would happen to me. I took big risks without even realising it. I didn’t realise the consequences if I lost!

This year I have learnt so much. I have learnt what food can do to you, I have learnt how to control my intake, I have learnt so much about myself and I’ve got lots of benefits in return. 

So this ‘game’ of life I am in I am now determined to win because I have stopped taking silly risks and I’m playing by the rules.