Year 3 week 26

25th June – 1st July 2018

This week I have been trying to cut down on my food intake. When I set myself this challenge I knew it was going to be hard. All I kept thinking about was how hard it was for me last time in January 2016.

Back then I ate so little food. The food I did eat was protein, fruit and vegetables and very little of anything else. I remember I went from eating junk constantly to eating really healthy with a 5 hour break in-between each meal. I remember it was quite a major shock to my system. So much so that I was fit for nothing.

I spent most of my time in bed without the energy to get up. If I did get up I was so shaky. The hunger pains were so intense that I am sure they could hear the rumbles next door.

My life back then consisted of eating very little and sleeping a lot – I couldn’t physically do anything else.

Remembering what I went through then is very off putting now. Last time I did that out of desperation to lose weight and have more energy to keep up with the kids. However I have definitely got the energy to keep up with the kids now. I know I still have a lot of weight to lose but that desperation has gone.

I have this week though managed to cut down considerably. I don’t know how I have managed to do it because I thought my willpower was non existent. I have been eating mainly protein, fruit and veg and I haven’t found it as hard as I thought.

I have felt a little weak at times and on the very odd occasion shaky. It has however been nothing like it was before. I have even managed to exercise a few times this week too.

There has been one drawback though and that is I haven’t lost any weight at all – I just don’t get it. I know I am thinner though because I can feel it. It’s a good job I no longer concentrate on the scales!


Year 2 week 31

30th July – 5th August 2017

Now that I am back from my holiday and at home for a while, I thought I would take the opportunity to get myself back on track – back on track with organising healthy meals, organise my food intake, continue with my exercises and hopefully lose more weight. 

18 months ago, when I first met Jenny my nutritionist, she told me that at first the weight would come off very easy. Then I will get to a stage and it will stop. In that pause I was to maintain my weight and after a period of time has gone, to try again and see if I can lose anymore weight. 

That is exactly what has happened to me. In previous diets, that pause has been a frustration for me, it has been the part where I give up and turn back to my old habits. 

This time I am not as frustrated. It would have been nice to continuously lose weight but I haven’t. Instead of getting down about it I have just tried to continue and not really worry too much about what the scales say.

Now that I am back from my holiday I feel I can concentrate on it a bit more. I thought I would go back to basics and start from the beginning again. It meant I had to take a look at what I did all those months ago. 

Hindsight can be really good and useful but looking all the way back to the beginning, seeing what I went through, makes me wonder how I ever did it the first time. 

What I did back then was the hardest thing I have ever done. The pain and suffering I went through to change my eating habits was so immense that I don’t think I could do it again. 

My habits have changed so much and all that hunger, shakes, eating less, low energy levels, tears, eating food I didn’t like, cutting out food I did, pain and suffering were worth it. 

Looking back now, knowing how hard it was, makes it even harder for me to start again. So on this occasion hindsight isn’t good. 

However things are a little different and should possibly be easier as I am already eating less and I won’t have to eat food I don’t like anymore because I have grown to enjoy it. I will have to cut back on foods I have let creep back in and I will have to go hungry again. But it seems like nothing in comparison.

Because I’ve looked back it has made it difficult to start again, so I have decided to tweek things a little and do it slightly differently so I can’t see what’s coming.  Hopefully when I start seeing results again it will help me to continue 

Year 2 week 8

19th – 25th February 2017

Most times I have dieted I have done quite well and lost lots of weight. This time is no different. 

However there has always been one problem and that is I have always put the weight back on again. 

When you are losing weight and you see the scales go down every week it’s quite exciting and it really spurs you on to do well the following week. 

But there has always come a time in a diet when I stop losing weight. For some reason the scales just don’t go down. That is the stage I am at now. Since October of last year I haven’t really lost much weight. 

This is where in the previous diets I have put the weight back on again. I have always got so frustrated, annoyed and I have even gone through a season of depression in the past.

Now that I am at the same stage again I feel that I could do the same again. I have to admit that I am frustrated and slightly annoyed that the scales are no longer going down. But there is a difference – one thing Jenny has taught me is to ignore the scales and just be consistent. 

I have been really good at ignoring the scales – it’s the consistency I am having a problem with. 

Consistency is hard and it can be very boring too. As I said, when the scales go down it can be really exciting and keep you motivated, but when it doesn’t it gets really boring. 

Jenny tells me that consistency is the key. However what does that key unlock. I would love it to unlock a book that tells me the easiest way to carry on. 

Unfortunately that is not going to happen (I can dream though).  I am finding being consistent the hardest challenge I have faced so far.

I think I am feeling like this because I have not long had my operation and I am not fully active again yet. I am longing to start exercising again which is an unusual thing for me to say because I have usually been happy to be a couch potato. 

It shows how much I have changed on this journey and I am going to try my hardest to continue!

Day 312

Monday 7th November 2016

I don’t know what it is but I find the minute you decide you want to lose weight the scales go haywire. 

It’s probably because you are all of a sudden taking notice of the scales all the time and all you want to do is see them go down. 

I have to admit that is me this year, everyday I have been getting on those scales. At the beginning I was really happy but after a while the frustration hits when the weight stops coming off. 

Over the last month I have lost no weight at all.  I have to say that it can be very demoralising, however this year Jenny has told me not to worry about what the scales say so I have tried to ignore them and look at other things – like how my clothes fit and what others say. 

This weekend I have seen a few people who I haven’t seen for a few weeks and they said I am looking thinner again. One was my brother and he never notices things like that! 

I also bought some clothes a while back that were too tight. I bought this skirt and I couldn’t do up the buttons and now I can. I also bought a coat on holiday in the summer that was so tight it was practically splitting at the seams. I couldn’t do that one up either but now I can. I have had to put extra holes in my belts as well. 

This morning I got on the scales and I was convinced that I had put on weight in Portugal, but no. I am still exactly the same weight as I left. Yet people are saying I am looking thinner and my clothes fit better, so how does that one work. 

It shows that Jenny is right and not to always rely on the scales and to look at the bigger picture instead because that can say so much more.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 07lbs.    ⬅️➡️ .   74.1lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.9kg.     ⬅️➡️.    34.5kg⬇️total

Day 207

Monday 25th July 2016

I always knew before I left for this holiday  that I would find it really difficult. I knew that my food choices were going to be hard. I knew the kids would be eating pizza, burgers, chips, ice cream and bread, pastries and croissants from the bakery. 

Since being on the holiday all that is true but I think it is worse than I expected. Normally I wouldn’t find it a problem because with my healthy eating I would be losing weight. This holiday I am still eating really healthily but I am putting on weight. I don’t understand why because I have done nothing to make this happen. When I see the scales go up I just try even harder. But then the scales go up again. 

I have to admit that it has really got to me. It makes me want to take a hammer to the scales. 

I texted Jenny because I was upset this was her response 

“You are doing nothing wrong do not panic, it’s just all those little things add up and you add the heat to the situation, bit of bloating it’s just your liver storing things, it will only be 3/4 lbs and they will easily drop off as soon as you get home. Keep enjoying yourself, the freedom, flavours and the holiday, a few lbs does not matter when you are feeling this good, trust yourself xx”

It made me feel better. But I have come to some conclusions 

1) I am not going to use the scales for the rest of the holiday because they are depressing me. 

2) I am going to remember how far I have come in a short period of time. 

And 3) I am going to remember what it was like after my last holiday when I didn’t really see my true weight until 3-5 days after my holiday when my body settled down again. 

So I have decided not to worry, enjoy my holiday but still keep eating the way I am because I am not doing nothing wrong. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 12.1lbs.    0.3lbs⬆️.   62.9lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

107.1kg.     0.1kg⬆️.      29.4kg⬇️total

Day 158

Monday 6th June 2016

I had a training session again with Jenny’s trainer. 

I got back on the exercise bike and I seemed to do it better than last time. He said I worked harder too. I always love it when I find out I have improved. 

We talked about the difference between muscle and fat and the fact that muscle weighs heavier but fat is bigger

He got me to lift a 25kg weight to show me how much weight I have lost. 

(Sorry about the picture it was just after my work out)

I know the weight looks small but believe me it was heavy. As fat is bigger it means it would have looked bigger than this weight!

I changed my day with Jenny this week and I went today instead of Wednesday. I went in the afternoon.  This was confirmation that I was not going to continue on my losing streak because I knew I hadn’t lost weight since last Wednesday. It was also the afternoon when I am always heavier. 

When I got on the scales, to my surprise, I was exactly the same weight. However, I had put on 4lbs of muscle and lost 2% of body fat. I was over the moon with this result. 

I have been on many different diets before where you get on the scales after a week of trying really hard and you don’t lose weight. Normally I would have wondered why and got myself upset and eaten something I shouldn’t. 

When I get weighed in with Jenny she can actually tell me why and it is so beneficial. She can also tell whether I have eaten healthily or not. 

So that’s no cheating for me!!!

Start weight 21st 5lbs

17st 3lbs.        ⬅️➡️.      58lbs⬇️total

Start weight 135.6 kg

109.3kg.              ⬅️➡️.     27.3kg⬇️total

Day 102

Monday 11th April 2016

I was told not to weigh myself for a few days after I got back from my holiday because you often weigh heavier when travelling. I don’t know why but I do think it’s true. However I couldn’t help myself and I had to get on those scales.

I felt I tried really hard on holiday.  I stuck to the diet most of the time. I was watching my family eat pastries, desserts and basically all that they wanted while I ate fruit and salad. 

I felt that I deserved to lose weight but if I stayed the same that would be OK too. Even though I was eating healthily I didn’t know what they were really putting in the food.

The last time I got on the scales was 25th March and my weight was 18st 4.8lbs today I got on I was 18st 3.5lbs. I feel really happy with myself to be able to go on holiday and actually lose weight!

18st 3.5lbs.     1.3lbs⬇️.     43.5lbs⬇️total

115.9kg.            0.6kg ⬇️.     20.6kg⬇️total