30th July – 5th August 2018
This week has ended up being quite unexpected and very manic.
We were camping at a Christian conference in the south of the country when I got a phone call to say that my Nan had died.
My Nan was 97 years old and she lived her life to the full. Over the last few years she had lived in a home as she had dementia.
In her life she got to see many generations. She had 3 kids, 5 grandchildren, 14 great grandchildren and 1 great great grandchild. If she had lived another month she might have even seen her 2nd great great grandchildren.
Family was my Nan’s whole life – she never really cared about anything more than family and her faith. She had witnessed so much in her life and seen so many changes. It’s certainly a different world she leaves than the one she entered.
But she also had the ability to change with it. There was an 87 year age gap between her and my youngest son, Jake, who is 10. The funniest thing I have seen is Jake teaching her how to use the iPad. It ended up with the pair of them in hysterics. That age gap was never a problem for either them.
My Nan was always there for me if I needed her. One thing I have realised now that she is gone is that when I was born I had 3 grandparents, 2 parents which meant I was a 3rd generation living.
Over the years generations have fallen in behind me but that 3rd position has never changed. My Nan was the only grandparent I have had for 30 years so with her now gone means that I have all of a sudden moved up the ladder and taken the 2nd place spot.
In someways I don’t feel ready for it. I don’t feel I really want that spot. It’s like all of a sudden I am following in someone else’s footsteps and I can’t possibly do it as much justice as the person who walked there before me.
I know this is the natural circle of life and moving up the generations happens to families all the time. But it’s a first for me. I feel I should be a lot more responsible now but I’m really not sure that is going to happen!
One thing I have also realised is that life is a gift and I shouldn’t be sitting here worrying how I am going follow in someone else’s footsteps but I need to start creating my own new fresh footprints and live life to the full – just like my Nan did.