23rd- 29th July 2017
I have always loved the summer, it’s usually warmer, it’s a time to go on holiday, it’s time to relax and wind down.
Since I have been going down this weight loss journey, and I am now half way through my second summer, I find that the summer is also the hardest.
Summertime is when all routine is gone. I am a person who likes routine. Routine means you know what is coming and you can prepare for it.
In the summer it’s always been see where the day takes me, no particular plans. Trying to lose weight with no routine is the hardest. It’s like I can’t concentrate on my goals, I am totally lacking in focus.
This week I have spent a few days at a conference called Focus. I was hoping, because of the name, it might help me with my focus.
One thing that was said was “don’t think that God is invisible – his fingerprints are all over your life”
One thing I have noticed over the past 18 months is how much help God has actually given me. How even through the hard times he has been right there by my side.
Here I am going through another hard time. Finding it hard to stay focused on my ultimate goal. One thing, though, that I am forgetting is that God is there beside me leaving his fingerprints. I just forgot to look for them.
2nd – 8th July 2017
This time is a busy time of year for me. At the end of the school year there is always so much to do with sports days and presentations and I am usually packing for holiday too.
This year is no different except that instead of packing for 6 people this year it’s like 8. It’s because my kids are going to so many different places over the summer. One of my sons has left on a school hockey and cricket tour in Sri Lanka for 2 weeks and he goes from there to India doing some missionary work for a month. Two of my other sons have come with us on holiday but as soon as we get home they go off to Serbia on mission hence so much packing.
With so much to do means that I lose focus on my goal of losing weight. My eating habits are not as bad as they were 18 months ago but I feel that on occasions I do let things slip a little though.
I still have that problem of looking in the mirror and seeing me the same way I always have. I sometimes struggle to think I have changed at all. These struggles are things that I face all the time and they can be very disheartening. It actually makes me feel a bit of a fraud – like I have been lying about my progress over the past 18 months. Then when I lose a little focus the feeling is worse.
When I feel like that I just think of where I have come from. 18 months ago I didn’t have the energy to keep going all day. I was over 5 stone heavier and I definitely couldn’t have ever ran a half marathon.
Sometimes though I get reminders in the little things like the fact that I can go shopping and buy clothes in a much smaller size than I use too, I try clothes on they are more likely to be too big than too tight, that I can get off the sofa in seconds and without pain rather than it taking me over 5 minutes.
The latest thing that reminds me is the fact after I have a shower and I only need one towel to wrap around me rather than 2!
It is one thing that I have noticed lately. I get slightly overwhelmed every time I wrap a towel around me and I can tie it. I half expect that I still need 2! It also means I can use the second towel to dry my hair.
These little things help to remind me that I am not a fraud. I have done better than what the mirror translates in my mind and even though I get set backs it helps me to move forward.
21st – 27th May 2017
Last week was such an amazing week, with lots of fun and laughter. My time in Rwanda was so busy and was spent meeting new people, going to new places and of course completing my challenge of running a half marathon.
Since coming home it has been a bit of a come down from last week. It’s been a bit of an anticlimax. I thought I would enjoy the rest and catch up on some sleep. I thought I would enjoy getting back to normal. But I have to say, now, I find that going back to my old routine is totally boring.
I never found it boring before I went. I think it’s because, now that I have accomplished my goal of running a half marathon, I find that I need a new focus – something to keep me going down the same path. I just need to keep moving forward one step at a time.
While in Rwanda the food was mainly things like rice, pasta and potatoes – all things that I shouldn’t eat to much of. They even provided spaghetti bolognese for breakfast!!!
Since coming home I have been trying to cut down on the amount of carbs and eat more salads and fruit. I am finding this extremely difficult. I found it easier to do a half marathon than cut back on my food intake! If anyone offered me an apple or a biscuit at the moment I think I would choose the biscuit.
Since coming back from Rwanda I am even finding it hard to exercise. I went for a 5k run and I was so tired when I got back that it made me wonder how I ever did a half marathon at all.
So I think I need a new focus to aim for because staying on that right path is hard and challenging at the moment. All I know is that I can’t go back – I need to keep moving forward. I just have to!!!
Wednesday 25th May 2016
Still feeling very tired and run down today.
When you feel like that it is very hard to stay focused on healthy eating. Over the last few days I have lapsed a little I have eaten fish fingers and they are not on my food list.
I have just classed it as a blip and not a failure. A failure is when you give up and I am definitely not doing that.
I am at present on my way to London for a few days. Which is even more reason why I need to stay focused
I am very aware that when you are away you can very easily eat the wrong food especially with me not feeling so good at the moment.
I did manage to see Jenny this morning and she is a really good encourager and motivator. She helped me see that I can stay focused.
When people believe in you it makes you think that you can do it.
Start weight 21st 5lbs
17st 4.5lbs. 0.5lbs⬆️. 56.5lbs⬇️total
Start weight 135.6 kg
110kg. 0.2kg⬆️. 26.6kg⬇️total