Year 2 week 4

22nd – 28th January 2017

Before I started this weight loss journey last year I did some research into having surgery. Things like the gastric band and the gastric sleeve. 

After some very intensive research I decided it wasn’t for me. One thing I realised with surgery like that is that for years after, until the weight comes off,  I would not have much of a life. I couldn’t see how I could only live on 5 bites of food a day!

The gastric band is reversible but the sleeve is not. So that is one reason I didn’t do it.  But probably the main reason is that weight problem for most tend to start in the head. Surgery would sort the body out but would not sort the head out. I needed to change my thinking, how I thought of myself and my whole approach to food and exercise. 

In some ways I think doing it naturally has been a struggle but a lot more rewarding than an operation could have given me. I have never had an operation before either. 

With losing a lot of weight this idea of doing it without an operation has come back to bite me. The one problem when you lose so much weight is the saggy skin that is left behind. 

Saggy skin is so much worse than being overweight. It itches, it holds in all the odours, you have a shower and 5 minutes later you smell again. You can feel it move with every step, it hurts when you run, it’s heavy and just hangs there and it gets in the way. At night it’s like lying on a creased up blanket that can’t be removed. I can’t express how uncomfortable it is. 

Before Christmas I had some consultations about getting the saggy skin removed. I made no decision – it was something I was just thinking of. 

It has come to a point now though that I have 2 choices: 1) get the skin removed or 2) put the weight back on again. In my eyes I have come too far to put the weight back on again. 

So getting it removed is the only option and Thursday was that day and by any means necessary.

I have to say with all the challenges I have faced on this journey this has been the toughest. 

I am not a person who would generally put myself forward to do something like that but I felt I had no choice. 

All those years I have spent abusing myself, not taking care of what I eat, thinking I wasn’t doing any harm – well now I am paying the consequences, I am learning the hard way. 

I only have myself to blame for this – no one force fed me. It would have been so much easier not getting myself in this mess to begin with but it’s done now. 

I have come to the conclusion that I would hate my kids to go through the same things I have. I think it is so important to teach your kids all about nutrition and what food does to your body  and not let them end up like me. 

The surgery went well and I have had some skin removed from my arms and some treatment on my back. I am very sore and bruised but generally recovering well.i think I will be recovering for some time. 

At least I can now look forward to a better ‘sag free’ future.