Day 327

Tuesday 22nd November 2016

I have achieved so many of my goals this year that I set at the start of the year. Climbing Snowdon was the last physical goal I completed. After I did it I felt that I needed to set more so I had something to aim for. 

One of the new goals was to run 3k before Christmas. Today I had my training and he asked me to do some running on the tread mill. He told me to stop at one point but I said no as I just wanted to keep running until I got to the 2 mile mark. 

After I was so happy with myself I was jumping for joy. I was that happy I could have ran it all again.

I know 2 mile doesn’t sound like much but to me it was a great achievement. This time last year I wouldn’t have ran 2 steps let alone 2 miles. 

I then realised that 2 miles is 3.2 kilometres which means I actually achieved one of my new goals.

After the run I wasn’t even tired – I felt I could have carried on. I was buzzing then for the rest of the day. 

My son was also jumping for joy as he passed his driving test, which has made Matt happy because my son can now do all the lifts!

So today we have a happier household than normal which is really nice to see. 


Day 322

Thursday 17th November 2016

I find that I have got to the stage of being really happy and content with my achievements this year. 

I feel I have dealt with so many issues I have been living with for many years. I feel I have sorted out my bad eating habits and changed them to good ones, I have more confidence than I have ever had before and I have even stopped trying to hide behind things. 

Generally I would have always said that I was a happy person. But I think really I was good at showing my happy face while inside I wasn’t really happy with myself. 

Now I feel I am happy inside and out. However, I know this may sound stupid, but I am not happy that I am happy!

People have told me lately that I now look normal. Some people have said that I don’t need to lose any more weight. I know though that I still have at least another 3 stone to lose.

Feeling happy and content with myself is hindering my motivation.  Being told that I now look normal is not necessarily helping with the motivation either. The fact is that I am probably still classed by doctors as being obese. 

It just goes to show how your emotions and how you feel can impact on your weight goals. My emotions and feelings contributed to me putting weight on, a change of heart and thinking has helped me lose weight (along with big changes in habits), and potentially becoming too content and happy emotionally could stop me losing more weight.  

I am not asking for the issues to come back. I want to stay happy and content. I just feel I now have to look for my motivation from somewhere else instead. 

Maybe it’s time I set myself some more goals – something that is out of reach now but with a little hard work and determination I could do it.  

The question is what?

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st lbs.      ⬅️➡️.   . 74.8lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg.      ⬅️➡️.   . 34.8kg⬇️total

Day 304

Sunday 30th October 2016

This morning we had an extra hour in bed because it’s that time of year again when the clocks go back. 

I have always loved it when you get an extra hour of the day.

All I wanted to do was use it wisely and catch up on some sleep. But no, I woke up early instead because by the time the morning came around I had forgotten and I didn’t change the clock by my bed. 

I then woke Matt up saying he was going to be late – his response was it’s only ten past six in the morning! It then dawned on me about the extra hour. I was then really annoyed with myself because I totally wasted that extra hour. Matt wasn’t too happy either.

I may have wasted that hour but one thing I am really glad about is the fact I haven’t wasted the year. 

In previous years if I think back to any accomplishments I have done in that year I wouldn’t have said I had achieved very much. 

I find that time goes by so quickly that you could blink and miss it half the time. That is how I have been in previous years. I do have some memorable moments but nothing I could say that I really accomplished anything in. 

This year, though, I am happy I haven’t wasted my time. I am doing things that I will remember forever, I have done a whole lifestyle change and learnt so much along the way. I have overcome so many emotional battles that I have lived with for years and I have lost weight in the process. 

So I may have wasted that hour but at least I am not wasting my year!

No weigh in

Day 298

Monday 24th October 2016

First night in the caravan. The last time we were all in the caravan together the kids were so much smaller, which makes it feel very cramped now.  The only person who has got smaller is me!

I have never really enjoyed sleeping in the caravan because the bed is so small.

My feet touch one end and my head touches the other. I don’t think people of 5’9″ can really be completely comfortable. 

The thing is the bed is not very wide either. I have always in the past felt like I have been hanging off the side. I also have to lie straight because there isn’t enough room to bend your legs up and I end up waking up with a bad back and still tired from a sleepless night.

Last night though I had the best sleep I have ever had in the caravan. I am not hanging off the side anymore I could even bend my legs to the side with room to spare which meant my height wasn’t a problem 

So really I have come to the conclusion today, that it’s wasn’t the bed that wasn’t wide enough but it was just me that was too wide. 

No weigh in

Day 293

Wednesday 19th October 2016

Today I went to Pilates again. It was only the 3rd time I have been. I have been finding it really hard more than I thought. Today though did seem to be a little easier. 

I have never really been a flexible person. If you had asked me last year to bend down and touch my toes I wouldn’t have got very far because my stomach would get in the way. I also have the problem of having a very short body and really long legs. I can do it now with ease though. 

Today in Pilates the instructor said sit down and cross your legs.

I just did it, I was sitting like that for a few minutes when she said you can straighten your legs if it’s uncomfortable. 

That made me realise that I was still actually sitting there with my legs crossed. I haven’t been able to do that for years. When you are overweight you’re limbs don’t bend like they should – I think it’s because they are so much bigger than they are supposed to be which can restrict your movement. 

I couldn’t believe that I had done it without thinking like it was a totally normal thing for me to do. I actually had a bit of a flashback to my childhood because I would always sit like that as a child. 

I know it sounds silly but I got really quite excited about sitting like that. It’s the little things that makes this journey totally worth while.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.8lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. 34.9kg⬇️total

Day 285

Tuesday 11th October 2016

This week is turning out to be a lot better than last week. I am definitely in a better mood. 

I had my training again today. Running has become one of the things I do now. Years ago when I was trying to get fit I would run around the block and I would set myself distances that I could see ahead. I would say to myself “I’ll run to that spot” and then I could walk again. 

I have never really been a person who would run without stopping. Now though I feel every time I run I am improving. 

Today I ran for a mile without stopping. 

I have never done that before in my life. I think the furthest I have ever run without stopping before this year is a few yards. 

It took me 8 minutes – I know it wasn’t quick and I know it wasn’t far but for me it was a great accomplishment. Afterwards I could have carried on but I think it is best to go one step at a time. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.8lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. 34.9kg⬇️total

Day 280

Thursday 6th October 2016

Today is a very special day, it’s the day I have been working hard all year for. Today is my Dads 70th birthday. 

My Dad is a very hard person to buy a present for. If he wants it he would go out and get it himself. 

Once my Dad wanted a pair of shoes. He liked the shoes a lot and thought he should buy 7 pairs because he got a discount. He also likes to play the guitar and he has lots. Once he went shopping and bought 4 at once. So if my Dad wants something he would get it himself – in bulk. 

So you can see why I have so much trouble getting him a present as he is the man who has everything. Usually I would buy him a shirt or some hankies.  I have been known to paint him a picture because I know he couldn’t buy that. His house though is full of my paintings. This year however, as its his 70th birthday, I felt he needed something special. 

I wanted to give him something that would be a great effort on my part. My Dad has always been very concerned about my weight and my health . So the only thing I could think of to give him was to lose 70lbs for his 70th birthday. So today is the deadline. 

I could have bought him a shirt and some hankies and not bothered to lose weight at all. I could have said there is no way I can do it, I could have said it is too much like hard work.  I could have wasted the time completely. But I didn’t and I am so proud that I actually did it – I got to my goal a few weeks before the deadline. 

Knowing how far I have come and all the added things I have learnt along the way and actually achieving it before the deadline makes me think that actually I have given myself a present for my Dads birthday rather than the other way around. However if it wasn’t for his birthday I might never have done it at all. 

You may think the present is a cop out but I can tell you it has taken a lot of hard work, hunger, sweat, tears, exercise, emotional ups and downs and some great achievements to get there. 

He has also got a present that I can hand to him but he will have to wait until I see him in a month and give it to him in person. So thank you Dad and happy birthday xxx.

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.8lbs. ⬅️➡️. 75.2lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.6kg. ⬅️➡️. 34.9kg⬇️total

Day 275

Saturday 1st October 2016

Being extremely overweight can have some major health problems. For years I have been going down a road that was shortening my life expectancy. 

Matt and my family were very concerned about me. I, at the time though, thought that they were just nagging. For years my family were telling me that I needed to lose weight. I always knew I did but at the time I couldn’t see a way out of this unhealthy lifestyle I had got myself into. 

One thing I have always said I wanted to do was live long enough to see the kids grow up get married and have kids of there own. I know that there are no guarantees in life but with me being so overweight and unhealthy I was reducing the odds considerably. 

Today is my Nans 96th birthday and she has had 3 children, 5 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren My niece is also expecting her first baby early next year and it looks like she could see at least one of her great great grandchildren too. 

If I was my Nan and looking through her eyes I would be very happy and proud to have witnessed so much in my lifetime. 

My Nan has also done really well to get to the age of 96 – that is a great achievement in itself. 

With what I have done this year, losing weight and eating healthier, I have definitely got a chance now of seeing the family grow and hopefully see many generations after me. Only if I am as fortunate as my Nan that is. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.5lbs.     ⬅️➡️.     75.5lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.4kg.         ⬅️➡️.       35.1kg⬇️total

Day 262

Sunday 18th September 2016

When I first started at the beginning of the year my goal was to lose 70lbs (5 stone) by October. It seemed impossible – I thought I wasn’t going to do it. It just seemed so far for me to see that far ahead.

At first the weight came off really quickly. I lost the first 4 stone in 4 and a half months. It has taken 4 months for the last stone. It has been a struggle at every step. But today I did it – I actually got to the 70lbs down mark.

In recent weeks I have been so close but I have often thought that I was never going to get there. I couldn’t believe it when I got on the scales this morning  and I had reached my goal. 

I actually got quite emotional and the tears were filling my eyes. I found myself crying at random times – I just couldn’t contain my emotions. 

This had been something I had worked all year for and today I actually succeeded. I think when you try so hard for something and eventually you get it I think I couldn’t help but be emotional. 

I have been taking comparison photos at every stone I lose. It has been 4 months since the last one. 

20th January / 18th September

It was very hard taking the first photo. Now though I am glad I did because it shows me where I have come from and the improvements I have made. 

Eventhough my overall goal was to lose 70lbs by October it quickly changed to 100lbs by the end of the year. So I still have a long way to go and a lot more hard work ahead. 

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 5lbs.        0.5lbs⬇️.     70lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

103.9kg.         0.2kg⬇️.     32.6kg⬇️total

Day 252

Thursday 8th September 2016

With the kids going back to school, I can get back into some kind of routine. That means seeing some people I haven’t seen since the beginning of summer. 

I felt over the summer I tried hard with very little results. I went on a few bike rides – one that was 23 miles – I climbed Snowdon and I went on many walks, some of them quite challenging. I have done more activities this summer than I have ever done before. 

I have even eaten a lot healthier over the summer. I went away a few times and I still watched what I ate. I was very conscious that I didn’t want to ruin all my hard work up until that point. Putting all this into consideration I felt that I hadn’t lost any weight. 

So why all of a sudden are people shocked by how much weight I have lost? Some people say that they are hardly recognising me. 

I know deep down I am doing well but I just can’t see it. To me I am the same only I have more energy, my clothes are baggy and my health has improved. I just can’t see what everyone else sees. 

Today though I had a shock

One thing I was shocked about was that I decided to look back at what my weight was at the beginning of the summer. I thought I had not lost any weight but it turns out that I have actually lost 5lbs. Ok, so it’s not brilliant but it’s definitely better than nothing. 

I spend my time looking at what I was yesterday but when I actually looked a bit further back it turns out to be a lot better than I thought. 

Another thing that constantly shocks me  is when I go shopping for clothes. I would go for a 16 comfortably but I have been known to buy a 14. Yesterday I had to buy a 12!

Today I went shopping with my sister in law and niece, Kate, and I tried on a coat. I have always found that with coats I need to get bigger because of all the clothes on underneath. I got a 16 thinking I would need to go up a size but no, I had to go down a size. I couldn’t believe it. 

So there’s me thinking that I had made no progress whatsoever over the summer but really I think I achieved a lot!

Start weight 21st 5lbs

16st 7.4lbs. ⬅️➡️. 67.6lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

105kg. ⬅️➡️. 31.5kg⬇️total