Day 349

Wednesday 14th December 2016

I don’t know what has happened to me lately but it seems everything I touch seems to break.

I have a computer that I do my embroidery designs on and the other day it broke. I am forever dropping my phone and today I have dropped it one to many times and now that has broke too.

The thing with my phone is that it looks okay. There is not a scratch on it. It even turns on. However the touch screen isn’t working which means that something has gone wrong on the inside.

 

So it has gone to the shop to be repaired. I feel like I have lost my right arm!

Even though it looks like nothing is wrong from the outside, without things working on the inside it useless. It try’s to work but it can’t, not effectively anyway. 

Losing control of my phone is very frustrating. I should know what it is like to not have control because for many years I have not had control of my own life. 

People have told me this year that they didn’t realise that I had all those emotional problems because it looked like I had it altogether. But no one really knows what’s happening on the inside of someone’s life and I am living proof. 

The thing is with my phone is that I am the one frustrated which has helped me understand how Matt and my family have felt all these years. 

For years they have wanted me to lose weight and sort my life out but I wouldn’t listen. Today I realise how they must have felt and the frustrations they have gone through. 

They advised me but I just thought they were nagging and I wouldn’t listen. The situation was totally out of their hands because they couldn’t control me. 

My frustration will only last a day because hopefully I will get my phone back tomorrow. But their’s went on for years! All I can do now is feel sad that I have put them through that for so long. 

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