Day 315

Thursday 10th November 2016

I hated it in games at school when 2 captains of opposite teams had to pick their team. The reason I hated it so much was because I was the one that always got picked last. 

I could understand why because I wasn’t very athletic and I was rubbish at games. It didn’t stop it from being a little humiliating though.

There was a situation once many years ago at church where I wanted to be involved in something and every week I didn’t get picked. It went on like this for a while until one day I asked why? The response was “because you don’t have control over your life”. At the time that response really upset me – I also didn’t agree with it.

If I think about it now, I think she was right. For many years I have got on with life not realising all the emotional baggage I have been carrying around. I also didn’t realise how much I let it affect me. 

This year though, with this lifestyle change, I have realised that I have always had control but not known how to use it.  I know this may sound stupid because everyone should have the ability to control their own lives. 

You can control a car or a plane but unless you turn it on it’s pretty useless 

This year I feel I have found that on switch and started to actually control my own life – getting rid of the bad, keeping the good and introducing good new habits along the way. 

I find that now I have learnt how to control what I eat and make wise choices rather than unhealthy ones helping me control everything else like my health, energy levels and emotions. 

I just need to make sure I keep that button on at all times so I can stay in control. 

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