Day 272

Wednesday 28th September 2016.

Today I have had another theme emerging. It has happened on a few occasions this year. 

This morning I was dropping the kids off at school and I was listening to the radio. There was a woman talking about the film The Matrix. She said that in the film the main character, Neo, is offered the choice between a red pill and a blue pill. The blue pill would allow him to remain in the unreal world of the Matrix, living the “ignorance of illusion”, while the red pill would lead to his escape from the Matrix and into the real world – “truth of reality”, even though it is a harsher, more difficult life. She then went on to say that if we had a choice would we change our identity ?

Today I have also been looking for a post office. It seems though that they have all gone – I must have gone to 4 different places to find one. I was going because I need a new passport so I was getting the forms and photos. 

I don’t know why but my passport photos are always awful. It has come at a good time because my face has changed a lot with losing weight. A passport is something that proves your identity, it proves that you are who you say you are. 

This year though it is like I have taken the red pill and changed my way of thinking. I feel I have changed my whole identity. I have gone from an unhealthy, overweight, self conscious, reserved, selfabsorbed person to a person who is more open, not so overweight, more healthy, more outgoing, less tired and a person who is willing to listen (though there are still many imperfections I am working on!).

So eventhough a passport shows you who you are it doesn’t show your personality, the person that makes you you. It doesn’t show the person inside. 

I am glad I am not still living like I took the blue pill because for years that is how it has been – ignorant. When you are in it though you don’t realise that you are basically living a lie, living a life that doesn’t fulfill all your potential. 

So if I had a choice I would choose the red pill – even if at times it has been difficult.

 
Start weight 21st 5lbs

15st 13.3lbs. ⬅️➡️.  75.7lbs⬇️total

Start weight 136.5kg

101.3kg. ⬅️➡️. 35.2kg⬇️total

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